Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Got Five on it: Make $5 By Hating Dania Furniture

Win $5 for shooting your own "I hate Dania Furniture video." Be one of ten winners!

we know you already hate dania with all your heart...might as well film it!

Do you hate Dania Furniture with all your heart, because it's so terrible?  Do you wish you could make a buck for the deep hate that eats you up within?  How about five of them?  If you answered "yes" to all three questions, then this contest may be for you!  The DSM is proud to offer its first contest/giveaway that requires you to simply express and record your disdain for Dania, whether it's about their furniture and/or customer service. Earning $5 was never easier.

How to Enter the Contest:
1.  Post a video to YouTube, no longer than a minute, of why you hate Dania Furniture.  If you don't have an account, get one.  YouTube's great, after all.

2.  Email me a link to your video to daniascrewedme@gmail.com to it, and if I think it's appropriate and embodies the values of the DSM, I'll confirm you as a winner and link or host it from here.

3.  As a confirmed, exclusive winner of ten, you will receive a certified letter award you $5 (US), a goody or two, if you're lucky. Maybe three if you're extra lucky.

4. The contest is over when there have been 10 successful entries, or when I feel like calling it.

Ground Rules:
1.  Just be genuine and legit about it; just open up your hateful heart and express how terrible their customer service and/or product(s) are.  One should be able to create a trilogy's worth of films, based on that alone.

2.  Any video defaming specific Dania Furniture employees, regardless of how terrible they are, will not be accepted.  That would just be really tacky and stupid.

3.  Don't make any untrue, derogatory, slanderous, and/or libelous claims about their product(s). Let's face it, it's all terrible, so it shouldn't be hard to rant on for a few seconds about why their furniture and/or customer service is terrible.

"Great, so what can I do?"
1.  Just because you can't make untrue claims about their products doesn't mean you have to mute your disdain!  You can present information from your perspective that infers your point-of-view, without stating it as an absolute.  Don't let this limit your ability to express your deep hatred of Dania Furniture, because you can still express yourself...you'll just have to get your discretion on.

Examples of What Not to Do:
  1. "Dania Furniture is made out of fecal matter."  
  2. "Dania Furniture is guaranteed to ruin your life."  

Example of What an Acceptable Version of the Previous Example of What Not to Do:
  1. "Dania Furniture is so terrible it might as well be made out of fecal matter." OR "Dania Furniture is so horrible, it feels like I'm sitting on a couch made out of feces."
  2. "Dania Furniture is so terrible, they should warn their customers that it may ruin their life."  OR "The overall experience of shopping at Dania Furniture was so terrible it ruined my life; I would not be surprised if it has and/or will continue to ruin the lives of others who shop there."
The difference is that you cannot explicitly state falsehoods about their product, even though that's how you feel.  If you feel that way, then state it as the way you feel, or your as your opinion.  

2. Let the hate take over and your creativity will flourish. Write a song, do a dance, synchronize swim, and/or vogue to express your deep hatred of Dania Furniture.  Do you have kids? Film them clowning Dania Furniture, it'll be more adorable than charlie who had his finger bitten. Do you have Dania Furniture?  Throw it off a cliff and film it; or set it on fire in a safe, protected area where it would not break any laws.

The world is your oyster, make it happen.