Dania Furniture in Kirkland, Washington is A Store You Probably Shouldn't Solicit, Because We're Assuming it's Bad.

Kirkland, Washington is an affluent, jovial city just outside of Seattle in an area known as the Eastside.  With nearly half of its population in the mostly white 18 to 44 range, it's a youthful area where young urban professionals area able to afford to settle down and stay connected to nearby cities, like Bellevue, Redmond and Seattle.  It's a modestly sized city of ~50,000 residents that rests beautifully along beautiful Lake Washington,.  Unfortunately, this is the type of demographic profiling that Dania Furniture uses when deciding which neighborhood to underserve and terrorize. You know, young people with money that are trying to plan their future in tumultuous times and are tricked by Dania's veiled faux-elegance and shoddily manufactured microfiber garbage.  Local newspaper, the Kirkland Reporter has yet to publish any content around this, but we know it's likely happening very soon.

While mostly residential, Kirkland also serves as a home for the headquarters of growing technology companies, but most notably truck producing mammoth, Kenworth.  It should be noted that Kirkland once served as the home for the Seahawks' training facility and awesome Costco Wholesale. Kirkland Signature, the white label brand for said wholesale magnate gets its name from this fantastic city that doesn't deserve to have a Dania in its city limits (but what city really does?).

Oh, Dania leave Kirkland alone!

Over a year ago, we were reunited with John, an old vision quest friend who we hadn't seen in a decade.  This person - this titan in the technology field - had relocated to Kirkland at the time.  Looking for affordable options to furnish his home with, he and his better half turned to the web where they found us.  Thanks to our jarring personal story of strife, tribulation, trials, pain, crying, tears, snot, whining, victimization, etc. he opted to shop elsewhere.  To this day, he thanks us for helping him reach a sound solution - that is avoiding the consumer experience at Dania, the world's worst company ever. That's right, we intercepted a customer and converted him and his beautiful family into a team of believers.

For those consider shopping at Dania, be like John and just say no. Don't be a victim like @TotallyTypeA, whose poor customer experience at the very store we speak of inspired her to take her anger and frustration to Twitter. And...of course let us not forget Naarski's comment on a post made early on in this fantastic blog's inception.  Bottom line: don't let history repeat itself of making innocent consumers into depressed, tormented victims.  Avoid this location at all cost:

Dania Furniture
12230 NE 116th St
Kirkland, WA 98034
(425) 823-9160

Furniture Shopping Options That Are Way Better Than Dania:
Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

• Design Within Reach - Now, this is the store Dania wishes it were. Sleek, high-end furniture and accessories design for the home, office and beyond. 
• My Home Furniture and Decor - Yes, their website looks like it was designed in 1999, but give them a chance.  Offering a wide selection of stuff to fill your home with traditional designs to modern.
• Simplicity Decor - Funky ass home accessories and super modern looking chachkis to impress your friends and break the bank.
• Z Gallerie - Leisure, comfort and baller appearances. They offer a wide range of furniture with a lot of overlap in pricing relative to Dania. 

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on real furniture alternatives in other areas.

2012 Page 1 Party Raises Close to $1 Million for the Red Cross.

Man oh man, was that a party!  We just got over our hangover from last year's Page 1 Party, and have much to report back.  Thanks to the seemingly thousands of Dania Haters who came out to meet with fellow anti-Dania fans, and most importantly, to support our beloved Red Cross.  Everyone in attendance sported hatewristbands in a move of solidarity and camaraderie, as angry, heated discussions of how terrible Dania is ruminated throughout the bar.  It was a beautiful coalescence of hate and love, where our fervent disgust of all things Dania Furniture resulted in an enormous, charitable contribution to the Red Cross. If you're not familiar with them, they're a pretty tight organization that tries really hard to do well for the world...you know, the exact opposite of Dania.  It's safe to say we hit every single emotion possible, but it was accented in smiles, hugs, cheers, and community.  Needless to say, it was the best night of everyone's life.

Jeanne won this limited edition
American Apparel DSM-themed t-shirt

We reached out to friends and local businesses to raffle off awesome stuff (Dania ScrewedMe-themed t-shirts, Dania Furniture replica couch pinata, invaluable art, concert tickets, and a lot more) where all proceeds were donated to the Red Cross, since they're still fishing survivors out of the Atlantic, thanks to that damn hurricane.    Together, we almost met our lofty goal of raising $1 million!  We fell a little short, but hey, $657 is a lot of money, and we're awful proud of this massive accomplishment, nonetheless.  Especially when you consider the fact that Dania doesn't seem to do any sort philanthropic work.  In fact, all  they do is take and take from the world we live in, feeding off of society in every parasitical way possible.  God, they are awful.

It's also worth noting the wonderful folks at the Capitol Club were excellent hosts for this sacred occasion. They hooked up excellent service, poured generous drinks, and made us feel right at home. While they pretended to be confused as to the purpose of the event, something told us they probably agreed with our stance on Dania. Anyway, make sure to stop by for a drink, bite and/or throw an event there, and tell them Dania ScrewedMe sent you.

Oh, and of course what Page 1 Party isn't complete without at least one celebrity couple making an appearance.  Special thanks to super famous Dania haters, Brad and Angelina for getting a sitter for the night .  They were clearly the highlight of the red carpet event, because they're really rich, gorgeous, and famous. You'd almost guess this photo was dated, but they credit their fountain of youth in their fervent hatred of Dania Furniture.  "I stay fit and beautiful, because everyday of my life is an opportunity to spread the anti-Dania message. This is my top priority in life. 75% of my net worth has been invested in this cause."  Angelina backed up that bold statement by explaining, "Our love is bonded through hatred of Dania. It's that simple, and that's why it's such a priority for us. I hate Dania more than I love Brad, and that's what he loves most about me."

2012's Page 1 Party was clearly an historical event; no other spite organization has ever funded a charitable organization.  This is yet another example of ground we have broken, as we continue to make our mark on the world. Whether it's buying spite ads on Google, blogging about hating a furniture company for two years (no one's done that before, oddly enough), and now fundraising for good through pure, unadulterated, deep, seething, raging hate. With almost all of 2013 still ahead of us, who knows what we'll do this year (and you bet your ass we'll continue to rule page 1).  All we can say is we know it will be amazing, weird, and impactful on us as individuals, members of the community, active participants in society and brothers and sisters across this globe. So grab a Rainier, and toast to you and us...we did it again, and we'll continue to do this together.

So here's to another year of hating Dania Furniture and for showing up on page 1 of Google for all "Dania Furniture" searches.  We pledge to keep building the content you love, affecting people around the globe and spreading our message to the world about how terrible it is to shop at Dania.

Page 1 Party, 2012 Celebrates Hatred of Dania Furniture with A New Spin

Everyone, gather around for the last great party on earth as we know it.  If you haven't requested your invite yet, then consider this it, unless you're a mean Dania employee. The 2012 winter solstice upon us, and impending doom is lurking around the corner as humanity gears up for its final days.  Join us tonight for our 2nd Annual Page 1 Party, which will be our last time to shine our Dania spite together.  For those not in the know, this is a party we throw for every year we appear on page 1 of Google search results for "dania furniture." See last year's Page 1 Party for an idea of what it's all about.

In addition to hating on Dania for their horrible Crate & Barrel wannabe home and office furnishings, we will be fundraising for the Red Cross.  Together, we can all help provide resources to help those hard hit areas, recover from what's been termed, "the Dania Furniture of hurricanes." The people of Staten Island are still wading in the Atlantic, and need us more than ever.

All proceeds will be sent directly to them via a giant novelty check, so be sure to break out the big bills and get a bunch of raffle tickets, they're only $1 each!  And of course, you will be obligated to purchase a lot, since the minimum tab is covered by us.  Just make sure you get a wrist band from us, so we can identify you as a hater with tab access.

Location: Capitol Club (Capitol Hill in Seattle - 414 East Pine Street), two rooms downstairs
Date & Time: December 1st, 9pm
Contact: (724) 67-DANIA
Raffle Prizes:

• 2 sets of tickets to The Triple Door
• Dinner for 2 at Taste of India
• 3 Dania ScrewedMe-themed t-shirts
• Romantic and culinary engagement from two UW philosophy professors
• Local artist contributions inspired by their deep, collective hatred of Dania
• Independent, locally-brewed beer of your choice
• 6 months of gourmet cookies
• Dania replica couch pinata + candy

The raffle will go on at midnight, so take a nap, hydrate up, eat a good meal, and prepare to get your hate on until we close out the bar.  Let's open up our wallets and see how many money bins we can fill tonight. Yes, we're taking the hate and turning it into something beautiful.

Isn't it a shame that Dania Furniture doesn't do any community-building and fundraising for those in need, like how we do?  I mean, we are an unprofitable limited liability corporation, and here we are bringing people together and likely to raise a million dollars for our beloved Red Cross.  Kudos to us, and shame on Dania.

Another Year of Hating Dania Furniture, Another Page 1 Party.

Folks, it's that time of the year to get together and celebrate our hatred of horrible Dania Furniture with this year's Page 1 Party!  If you're not familiar with this, it's a party that commemorates this very blog's massive achievement of appearing on page one of Google search results for "dania furniture."  We have vowed that every year we are on page one of Google, for at least this search term, we will always host an awesome party.  Check out last year's Page 1 Party recap.

Most important of all, however, is this year's Page 1 Party will be dedicated to fundraising for those in need, thanks to Hurricane Sandy.  We Dania haters will be melding our communal hatred of Dania Furniture with our human, empathetic side by fundraising for the Red Cross with amazing raffle prizes.  Hurricane Sandy's amazing destruction has been massive, and it's time for us to unite our around our Dania hate, and come together in this insane time to show the love to our fellow citizens.

If you would like to contribute to the raffle, please contact us immediately at daniascrewedme@gmail.com.  If you'd like to attend, then drop us a line at the same email address or give us a call at (724) 67-DANIA.

Details are developing, but here's what we have for the moment:

• Date: Saturday, December 1st
• Location: Super tight bar in Capitol Hill
• Time: After 8pm...need to lock down a time

We will have more details in a week or so. Stay tuned and clear your calendar.

A Note to Dania:
Page 1 status is something we take very seriously, and we vow to be here forever.  We will continue to spread our message and educate the world on how terrible it is to shop at your store.  And we will always be creative in our marketing efforts, and outperform you with technical expertise and natural ability. We hope you've filled that job req for that digital marketer you were seeking, because you're going to need it. Keep visiting our site and watch us continue to grow.  We know your employees are.

Your director of marketing is following our "Worst of Dania Furniture" board on Pinterest, and a store manager is trying to connect with the blog founder's personal account on LinkedIn. An executive assistant at your company posts on this blog defending Dania and insinuating us, the customers, as being wrong without even reading the entire, epic, spellbinding story!  Wow, it sounds like your employees are really focused on selling your terrible products. What in the world are you guys trying to prove over there with all of this?  You guys really do enjoy the site, huh? Shouldn't you guys busy enough selling terrible, faux high end furniture to unsuspecting, hardworking Americans?

Why don't you just fix your store's image issues by dealing with problems as they occur - directly, rather than resorting to strange, bizarre, passive aggressive actions? We will never be silent about our hatred of all things Dania Furniture, and we want you to know this will be on the internet forever.  Really, you guys are just a bunch of cowards. After all, how great was it when someone in the Evil Dania Network contacted executives at the company the blog founder works for and made false allegations of profiting off this blog using company resources.  That made our 2011. That's pretty illegal, right - harming someone with with lies?  Because zero profits have been made, despite the thousands of dollars invested in this site (as you can clearly tell from the design of things), because we don't have anything to sell, but the truth (also waiting on a few patents to go through).  Also, it's gotta be pretty illegal to use these lies to try to ruin the reputation of an individual, right? To think that these sorts of intimidation tactics would work was downright idiotic, and yes, illegal.  You might want to consult legal counsel for things like this in the future, because you just might get sued!  It's funny...we had no idea that in addition to selling overpriced, fake-nice furniture, you guys went around libeling people that were expressing their First Amendment rights to free speech. Why do you hate America so much?

Dania, you are a mess. Why don't you just learn how to deliver your horrible furniture that people buy, during their lapses in judgment, and not worry about a large network rogue bloggers who receives thousands of visitors a year spreading their message on how putrid you guys are.  Your poor attempts at silencing us have only empowered us.  We have never initiated any contact with you (or any of your employees) since we proclaimed war against you, but here you are trying to make contact with us in a variety of channels with different levels of aggression.  What gives?  Weren't we supposed to cut ties?

The best way to disarm us is as simple as just being a good company by offering customer service. Stop being so terrible - really. But you'll never do that, because of your deep commitment to be utterly abominable.  This is why we will continue to stay on page 1 - to let people know the extent of how abhorrent you are, and that you are deserving of this bizarre, neverending outburst of ridicule.  In fact, we know we are reaching consumers, your employees, and everyone in between.  We know there is unrest within your company, and we know that a lot of those that work for you enjoy our content, because they hate working for you. Let's really hope no one who's super ambitious tries to unionize your employees, because that just might positively impact the culture of terrible and perception of idiocy you seem to love celebrating.  Or better yet, let's hope your employees aren't actually contacting us and telling things about you, as well.  That would be a shame!

We, the DaniaScrewedMe LLC have come a long way to give up now.  We can't wait until the 20th Annual Page One Party...unless, of course, we put you out of business by then.