Monday, February 18, 2013

2012 Page 1 Party Raises Close to $1 Million for the Red Cross.

page 1 party dania screwedme wristbands

dania furniture haters hating super hardMan oh man, was that a party!  We just got over our hangover from last year's Page 1 Party, and have much to report back.  Thanks to the seemingly thousands of Dania Haters who came out to meet with fellow anti-Dania fans, and most importantly, to support our beloved Red Cross.  Everyone in attendance sported hatewristbands in a move of solidarity and camaraderie, as angry, heated discussions of how terrible Dania is ruminated throughout the bar.  It was a beautiful coalescence of hate and love, where our fervent disgust of all things Dania Furniture resulted in an enormous, charitable contribution to the Red Cross. If you're not familiar with them, they're a pretty tight organization that tries really hard to do well for the world...you know, the exact opposite of Dania.  It's safe to say we hit every single emotion possible, but it was accented in smiles, hugs, cheers, and community.  Needless to say, it was the best night of everyone's life.


anti dania furniture tshirt
Jeanne won this limited edition
American Apparel DSM-themed t-shirt
We reached out to friends and local businesses to raffle off awesome stuff (Dania ScrewedMe-themed t-shirts, Dania Furniture replica couch pinata, invaluable art, concert tickets, and a lot more) where all proceeds were donated to the Red Cross, since they're still fishing survivors out of the Atlantic, thanks to that damn hurricane.    Together, we almost met our lofty goal of raising $1 million!  We fell a little short, but hey, $657 is a lot of money, and we're awful proud of this massive accomplishment, nonetheless.  Especially when you consider the fact that Dania doesn't seem to do any sort philanthropic work.  In fact, all  they do is take and take from the world we live in, feeding off of society in every parasitical way possible.  God, they are awful.

It's also worth noting the wonderful folks at the Capitol Club were excellent hosts for this sacred occasion. They hooked up excellent service, poured generous drinks, and made us feel right at home. While they pretended to be confused as to the purpose of the event, something told us they probably agreed with our stance on Dania. Anyway, make sure to stop by for a drink, bite and/or throw an event there, and tell them Dania ScrewedMe sent you.

brangelina hates dania furniture
Oh, and of course what Page 1 Party isn't complete without at least one celebrity couple making an appearance.  Special thanks to super famous Dania haters, Brad and Angelina for getting a sitter for the night .  They were clearly the highlight of the red carpet event, because they're really rich, gorgeous, and famous. You'd almost guess this photo was dated, but they credit their fountain of youth in their fervent hatred of Dania Furniture.  "I stay fit and beautiful, because everyday of my life is an opportunity to spread the anti-Dania message. This is my top priority in life. 75% of my net worth has been invested in this cause."  Angelina backed up that bold statement by explaining, "Our love is bonded through hatred of Dania. It's that simple, and that's why it's such a priority for us. I hate Dania more than I love Brad, and that's what he loves most about me."

2012's Page 1 Party was clearly an historical event; no other spite organization has ever funded a charitable organization.  This is yet another example of ground we have broken, as we continue to make our mark on the world. Whether it's buying spite ads on Google, blogging about hating a furniture company for two years (no one's done that before, oddly enough), and now fundraising for good through pure, unadulterated, deep, seething, raging hate. With almost all of 2013 still ahead of us, who knows what we'll do this year (and you bet your ass we'll continue to rule page 1).  All we can say is we know it will be amazing, weird, and impactful on us as individuals, members of the community, active participants in society and brothers and sisters across this globe. So grab a Rainier, and toast to you and us...we did it again, and we'll continue to do this together.

So here's to another year of hating Dania Furniture and for showing up on page 1 of Google for all "Dania Furniture" searches.  We pledge to keep building the content you love, affecting people around the globe and spreading our message to the world about how terrible it is to shop at Dania.