2012 Page 1 Party Raises Close to $1 Million for the Red Cross.

Man oh man, was that a party!  We just got over our hangover from last year's Page 1 Party, and have much to report back.  Thanks to the seemingly thousands of Dania Haters who came out to meet with fellow anti-Dania fans, and most importantly, to support our beloved Red Cross.  Everyone in attendance sported hatewristbands in a move of solidarity and camaraderie, as angry, heated discussions of how terrible Dania is ruminated throughout the bar.  It was a beautiful coalescence of hate and love, where our fervent disgust of all things Dania Furniture resulted in an enormous, charitable contribution to the Red Cross. If you're not familiar with them, they're a pretty tight organization that tries really hard to do well for the world...you know, the exact opposite of Dania.  It's safe to say we hit every single emotion possible, but it was accented in smiles, hugs, cheers, and community.  Needless to say, it was the best night of everyone's life.

Jeanne won this limited edition
American Apparel DSM-themed t-shirt

We reached out to friends and local businesses to raffle off awesome stuff (Dania ScrewedMe-themed t-shirts, Dania Furniture replica couch pinata, invaluable art, concert tickets, and a lot more) where all proceeds were donated to the Red Cross, since they're still fishing survivors out of the Atlantic, thanks to that damn hurricane.    Together, we almost met our lofty goal of raising $1 million!  We fell a little short, but hey, $657 is a lot of money, and we're awful proud of this massive accomplishment, nonetheless.  Especially when you consider the fact that Dania doesn't seem to do any sort philanthropic work.  In fact, all  they do is take and take from the world we live in, feeding off of society in every parasitical way possible.  God, they are awful.

It's also worth noting the wonderful folks at the Capitol Club were excellent hosts for this sacred occasion. They hooked up excellent service, poured generous drinks, and made us feel right at home. While they pretended to be confused as to the purpose of the event, something told us they probably agreed with our stance on Dania. Anyway, make sure to stop by for a drink, bite and/or throw an event there, and tell them Dania ScrewedMe sent you.

Oh, and of course what Page 1 Party isn't complete without at least one celebrity couple making an appearance.  Special thanks to super famous Dania haters, Brad and Angelina for getting a sitter for the night .  They were clearly the highlight of the red carpet event, because they're really rich, gorgeous, and famous. You'd almost guess this photo was dated, but they credit their fountain of youth in their fervent hatred of Dania Furniture.  "I stay fit and beautiful, because everyday of my life is an opportunity to spread the anti-Dania message. This is my top priority in life. 75% of my net worth has been invested in this cause."  Angelina backed up that bold statement by explaining, "Our love is bonded through hatred of Dania. It's that simple, and that's why it's such a priority for us. I hate Dania more than I love Brad, and that's what he loves most about me."

2012's Page 1 Party was clearly an historical event; no other spite organization has ever funded a charitable organization.  This is yet another example of ground we have broken, as we continue to make our mark on the world. Whether it's buying spite ads on Google, blogging about hating a furniture company for two years (no one's done that before, oddly enough), and now fundraising for good through pure, unadulterated, deep, seething, raging hate. With almost all of 2013 still ahead of us, who knows what we'll do this year (and you bet your ass we'll continue to rule page 1).  All we can say is we know it will be amazing, weird, and impactful on us as individuals, members of the community, active participants in society and brothers and sisters across this globe. So grab a Rainier, and toast to you and us...we did it again, and we'll continue to do this together.

So here's to another year of hating Dania Furniture and for showing up on page 1 of Google for all "Dania Furniture" searches.  We pledge to keep building the content you love, affecting people around the globe and spreading our message to the world about how terrible it is to shop at Dania.

"Dania Furniture" Page One Ranking on Google. Dania ScrewedMe PAGE ONE PARTY Coming Soon!

It is with great pride and pleasure that the Dania ScrewedMe LLC formally announce its page one ranking for the search term dania furniture in Google's organic results.  Currently, in Seattle, we are in position 4 (see below); similarly our triumphant furniture video is also on page 1, (near the bottom), and if you're logged in to Google Plus, you'll see the DSM Page.  It should be noted that the elusive page one status varies across geographical regions for any given search term.  However, it is fair to say this fantastic blog ranks consistently on page 1, as we have had page 1 sightings in top metropolitan cities across the globe, like New York City, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam.

Originally, the DSM Blog premiered on page 26 of Google's organic search results in March.  Four months later, we premiered on page one in mid-July as the last organic result on page 1.  As a precautionary measure, we collectively decided to stall the announcement of page 1 status, so as to not prematurely celebrate our great efforts.  After climbing page 1 results over the past couple of months, we have decided to formally announce that we are indeed on page 1, and likely to stay for a while.

SO NOW IT'S TIME TO PARTY!

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC is proud to announce the first annual Dania ScrewedMe Page 1 Party next month! If you live in Seattle (or if you can make it into the city), hate Dania Furniture with a passion and want to engage with other like-minded, progressive individuals, join us!  Date and venue are TBA, but rest assured a top notch party will thrown, and we will need your Dania disdain to fuel a passionate night of burning effigies of Dania's terrible furniture. We guarantee free drink tickets, cab vouchers, and fun for all who attend!

All we want is for you to find solace in a celebration that gives credence to who you are and what you hate the most, that damn Dania Furniture.  If you'd like to join us, please email us NOW at daniascrewedme@gmail.com and request your invitation to the party.  Hurry, spots are limited. Please stay tuned for Page 1 Party details.

The DSM LLC pledges to throw a page one party every year we are on page one.  Here's how you can help us maintain our page 1 ranking, and keep the party alive.

• Search on Google and enjoy your stay.
  Go to Google, search for dania furniture, and click on the link to this very page, after you +1 it.  Be sure to spend a few minutes perusing pages, and feel free to engage with the site. Get into the "Dania sucks poll," check mark a reaction after reading a post, +1 them, and/or comment on one!  There's lots to do here and it should be easy to spend minutes, if not hours, engaging with all of this fantastic, unique content. Bask in your hatred of Dania Furniture for their abhorrent customer service, and their ridiculously priced faux high-end furniture that we presume to be shoddily created.
• Link to the DSM Blog.
  Don't hog this fantastic experience of reading on the DSM Blog all to yourself.  Send your friends and family links to your favorite posts, and/or simply link to the main page at http://daniascrewedme.blogspot.com.  Send an email to a loved one gushing about us, link it from your website, tweet about it, Facebook it, Google Plus it, get a face tattoo of it - just do something - anything - to help us be the albatross in Dania Furniture's terrible existence. After all, we are the self-appointed karma police.

The future of the DSM is bright.  We have made much progress in such a short amount of time; incorporating as a limited liability corporation and reaching page 1 status on Google are dreams come true.  However, the task of hating Dania Furniture has just begun.   Finding a home on page 1 is much to be proud of, but there is tumultuous terrain ahead of us. Goddamn daniafurniture.com is deviously hogging all of the above-the-fold action (uh...black hat SEO perhaps?) with their haughty site links and Google Maps listings (with terribly negative reviews...surprise!), not to mention wonderful Yelp! with their powerful site credibility, so there is much work ahead of us.  Slowly but surely, we will climb each position one at a time.  We are confident of this, as our deep, burning desire to beat this dead horse even deader is motivating us to reach for the sky.  Fear not, the absolute hatred of Dania Furniture and our ongoing exposè of them will not stop anytime soon.

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC pledges to keep up this fight against terrible Dania Furniture until they retire from the furniture game.  Be on the lookout for the First Annual DSM Furniture Awards, an interview with a furniture delivery professional, and much more. 

Here's to Page 1!