Page 1 Party, 2012 Celebrates Hatred of Dania Furniture with A New Spin

Everyone, gather around for the last great party on earth as we know it.  If you haven't requested your invite yet, then consider this it, unless you're a mean Dania employee. The 2012 winter solstice upon us, and impending doom is lurking around the corner as humanity gears up for its final days.  Join us tonight for our 2nd Annual Page 1 Party, which will be our last time to shine our Dania spite together.  For those not in the know, this is a party we throw for every year we appear on page 1 of Google search results for "dania furniture." See last year's Page 1 Party for an idea of what it's all about.

In addition to hating on Dania for their horrible Crate & Barrel wannabe home and office furnishings, we will be fundraising for the Red Cross.  Together, we can all help provide resources to help those hard hit areas, recover from what's been termed, "the Dania Furniture of hurricanes." The people of Staten Island are still wading in the Atlantic, and need us more than ever.

All proceeds will be sent directly to them via a giant novelty check, so be sure to break out the big bills and get a bunch of raffle tickets, they're only $1 each!  And of course, you will be obligated to purchase a lot, since the minimum tab is covered by us.  Just make sure you get a wrist band from us, so we can identify you as a hater with tab access.

Location: Capitol Club (Capitol Hill in Seattle - 414 East Pine Street), two rooms downstairs
Date & Time: December 1st, 9pm
Contact: (724) 67-DANIA
Raffle Prizes:

• 2 sets of tickets to The Triple Door
• Dinner for 2 at Taste of India
• 3 Dania ScrewedMe-themed t-shirts
• Romantic and culinary engagement from two UW philosophy professors
• Local artist contributions inspired by their deep, collective hatred of Dania
• Independent, locally-brewed beer of your choice
• 6 months of gourmet cookies
• Dania replica couch pinata + candy

The raffle will go on at midnight, so take a nap, hydrate up, eat a good meal, and prepare to get your hate on until we close out the bar.  Let's open up our wallets and see how many money bins we can fill tonight. Yes, we're taking the hate and turning it into something beautiful.

Isn't it a shame that Dania Furniture doesn't do any community-building and fundraising for those in need, like how we do?  I mean, we are an unprofitable limited liability corporation, and here we are bringing people together and likely to raise a million dollars for our beloved Red Cross.  Kudos to us, and shame on Dania.