Tuesday, September 20, 2011

"Dania Furniture" Page One Ranking on Google. Dania ScrewedMe PAGE ONE PARTY Coming Soon!

It is with great pride and pleasure that the Dania ScrewedMe LLC formally announce its page one ranking for the search term dania furniture in Google's organic results.  Currently, in Seattle, we are in position 4 (see below); similarly our triumphant furniture video is also on page 1, (near the bottom), and if you're logged in to Google Plus, you'll see the DSM Page.  It should be noted that the elusive page one status varies across geographical regions for any given search term.  However, it is fair to say this fantastic blog ranks consistently on page 1, as we have had page 1 sightings in top metropolitan cities across the globe, like New York City, Paris, Brussels and Amsterdam.

dania screwedme blog officially on page 1 of google for "dania furniture" organic searches!
Originally, the DSM Blog premiered on page 26 of Google's organic search results in March.  Four months later, we premiered on page one in mid-July as the last organic result on page 1.  As a precautionary measure, we collectively decided to stall the announcement of page 1 status, so as to not prematurely celebrate our great efforts.  After climbing page 1 results over the past couple of months, we have decided to formally announce that we are indeed on page 1, and likely to stay for a while.


The Dania ScrewedMe LLC is proud to announce the first annual Dania ScrewedMe Page 1 Party next month! If you live in Seattle (or if you can make it into the city), hate Dania Furniture with a passion and want to engage with other like-minded, progressive individuals, join us!  Date and venue are TBA, but rest assured a top notch party will thrown, and we will need your Dania disdain to fuel a passionate night of burning effigies of Dania's terrible furniture. We guarantee free drink tickets, cab vouchers, and fun for all who attend!

All we want is for you to find solace in a celebration that gives credence to who you are and what you hate the most, that damn Dania Furniture.  If you'd like to join us, please email us NOW at daniascrewedme@gmail.com and request your invitation to the party.  Hurry, spots are limited. Please stay tuned for Page 1 Party details.

The DSM LLC pledges to throw a page one party every year we are on page one.  Here's how you can help us maintain our page 1 ranking, and keep the party alive.
  • Search on Google and enjoy your stay.
    Go to Google, search for dania furniture, and click on the link to this very page, after you +1 it.  Be sure to spend a few minutes perusing pages, and feel free to engage with the site. Get into the "Dania sucks poll," check mark a reaction after reading a post, +1 them, and/or comment on one!  There's lots to do here and it should be easy to spend minutes, if not hours, engaging with all of this fantastic, unique content. Bask in your hatred of Dania Furniture for their abhorrent customer service, and their ridiculously priced faux high-end furniture that we presume to be shoddily created.
  • Link to the DSM Blog.
    Don't hog this fantastic experience of reading on the DSM Blog all to yourself.  Send your friends and family links to your favorite posts, and/or simply link to the main page at http://daniascrewedme.blogspot.com.  Send an email to a loved one gushing about us, link it from your website, tweet about it, Facebook it, Google Plus it, get a face tattoo of it - just do something - anything - to help us be the albatross in Dania Furniture's terrible existence. After all, we are the self-appointed karma police.

The future of the DSM is bright.  We have made much progress in such a short amount of time; incorporating as a limited liability corporation and reaching page 1 status on Google are dreams come true.  However, the task of hating Dania Furniture has just begun.   Finding a home on page 1 is much to be proud of, but there is tumultuous terrain ahead of us. Goddamn daniafurniture.com is deviously hogging all of the above-the-fold action (uh...black hat SEO perhaps?) with their haughty site links and Google Maps listings (with terribly negative reviews...surprise!), not to mention wonderful Yelp! with their powerful site credibility, so there is much work ahead of us.  Slowly but surely, we will climb each position one at a time.  We are confident of this, as our deep, burning desire to beat this dead horse even deader is motivating us to reach for the sky.  Fear not, the absolute hatred of Dania Furniture and our ongoing exposè of them will not stop anytime soon.

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC pledges to keep up this fight against terrible Dania Furniture until they retire from the furniture game.  Be on the lookout for the First Annual DSM Furniture Awards, an interview with a furniture delivery professional, and much more. 

Here's to Page 1!