Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Page 1 Party Invite & Details. Down with Dania Furniture!

page 1 party: dania screwedme blog appears on page 1 of google results for "dania furniture" searches

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC is proud to present its First Annual Page 1 Party!  For the unenlightened few out there, that means this very blog appears on page 1 of Google searches for "dania furniture."  The news was recently broken here.  Here's the lowdown on the party:

  • Date: Saturday, October 22nd (RSVP by October 17th!)
  • Location: Orient Express, 2963 4th Ave S (between Forest St & Hanford St) in the SODO neighborhood of Seattle, WA. Check it out on Google Maps.

If you wish to attend, simply email daniascrewedme@gmail.com and request your invite.  You're allowed to bring guests, so please specify the number of people you want to attend, and their names. This is a snooty, exclusive event, so we reserve the right to clown individuals.  And remember, you must RSVP by Monday, October 17th. If you attempt to RSVP after, you may miss out on what will likely be documented in history as the Westcoast's hottest party of 2011.

"So what can I expect at an anti-Dania Furniture party?" you may be asking yourself. Well, first off this isn't your average anti-Dania party...this is a Page 1 Party.  Getting to this point in our short lifespan is a cause for celebration - NOT just a party. In order to due this massive feat justice, we have prepared an evening of unending fun.

  • Generous Bar Tab. Bring cab fare (get to and fro safely, y'all), some loose bones for tipping, and if you must extra dough for drinks. Depending on how many people attend, we hope to be able to buy at rounds and rounds for everyone who attends.
  • DSM Approved Tunes + Killer Company. Party with like-minded Dania Furniture haters that hate everything from their stupid couches, to their terrible beds, tables, etc! All behind the backdrop of a customized Dania Furniture hate inspired playlist.
  • Free Gourmet Buffet. Feast on some of Seattle's finest Chinese gourmet food. 
  • Dania Furniture Replica Couch PiƱata. We'll beat the living hell out of it and devour its insides.
  • 1st Annual DSM Awards. See the beginning of a new tradition.
  • Tearful Speeches. Bare witness to moving speeches by the DSM founder that will shake you to your core harder than 5 minutes of Jesus Camp.  There won't be a single dry eye in the house.
  • Karaoke. We will have our own private room which can house 30-40 angelic voices. We've already got dibs on "Spoonman" and "In Bloom."

Your only excuse to not attend this party is if you're out of the country. Hopefully this is just the beginning of yearly events hosted by the Dania ScrewedMe LLC.  Read how you can help keep this blog on page 1 and help us climb up the organic search ladder!

Join us in a toast to Page 1, won't you?