Another Year of Hating Dania Furniture, Another Page 1 Party.

Folks, it's that time of the year to get together and celebrate our hatred of horrible Dania Furniture with this year's Page 1 Party!  If you're not familiar with this, it's a party that commemorates this very blog's massive achievement of appearing on page one of Google search results for "dania furniture."  We have vowed that every year we are on page one of Google, for at least this search term, we will always host an awesome party.  Check out last year's Page 1 Party recap.

Most important of all, however, is this year's Page 1 Party will be dedicated to fundraising for those in need, thanks to Hurricane Sandy.  We Dania haters will be melding our communal hatred of Dania Furniture with our human, empathetic side by fundraising for the Red Cross with amazing raffle prizes.  Hurricane Sandy's amazing destruction has been massive, and it's time for us to unite our around our Dania hate, and come together in this insane time to show the love to our fellow citizens.

If you would like to contribute to the raffle, please contact us immediately at daniascrewedme@gmail.com.  If you'd like to attend, then drop us a line at the same email address or give us a call at (724) 67-DANIA.

Details are developing, but here's what we have for the moment:

• Date: Saturday, December 1st
• Location: Super tight bar in Capitol Hill
• Time: After 8pm...need to lock down a time

We will have more details in a week or so. Stay tuned and clear your calendar.

A Note to Dania:
Page 1 status is something we take very seriously, and we vow to be here forever.  We will continue to spread our message and educate the world on how terrible it is to shop at your store.  And we will always be creative in our marketing efforts, and outperform you with technical expertise and natural ability. We hope you've filled that job req for that digital marketer you were seeking, because you're going to need it. Keep visiting our site and watch us continue to grow.  We know your employees are.

Your director of marketing is following our "Worst of Dania Furniture" board on Pinterest, and a store manager is trying to connect with the blog founder's personal account on LinkedIn. An executive assistant at your company posts on this blog defending Dania and insinuating us, the customers, as being wrong without even reading the entire, epic, spellbinding story!  Wow, it sounds like your employees are really focused on selling your terrible products. What in the world are you guys trying to prove over there with all of this?  You guys really do enjoy the site, huh? Shouldn't you guys busy enough selling terrible, faux high end furniture to unsuspecting, hardworking Americans?

Why don't you just fix your store's image issues by dealing with problems as they occur - directly, rather than resorting to strange, bizarre, passive aggressive actions? We will never be silent about our hatred of all things Dania Furniture, and we want you to know this will be on the internet forever.  Really, you guys are just a bunch of cowards. After all, how great was it when someone in the Evil Dania Network contacted executives at the company the blog founder works for and made false allegations of profiting off this blog using company resources.  That made our 2011. That's pretty illegal, right - harming someone with with lies?  Because zero profits have been made, despite the thousands of dollars invested in this site (as you can clearly tell from the design of things), because we don't have anything to sell, but the truth (also waiting on a few patents to go through).  Also, it's gotta be pretty illegal to use these lies to try to ruin the reputation of an individual, right? To think that these sorts of intimidation tactics would work was downright idiotic, and yes, illegal.  You might want to consult legal counsel for things like this in the future, because you just might get sued!  It's funny...we had no idea that in addition to selling overpriced, fake-nice furniture, you guys went around libeling people that were expressing their First Amendment rights to free speech. Why do you hate America so much?

Dania, you are a mess. Why don't you just learn how to deliver your horrible furniture that people buy, during their lapses in judgment, and not worry about a large network rogue bloggers who receives thousands of visitors a year spreading their message on how putrid you guys are.  Your poor attempts at silencing us have only empowered us.  We have never initiated any contact with you (or any of your employees) since we proclaimed war against you, but here you are trying to make contact with us in a variety of channels with different levels of aggression.  What gives?  Weren't we supposed to cut ties?

The best way to disarm us is as simple as just being a good company by offering customer service. Stop being so terrible - really. But you'll never do that, because of your deep commitment to be utterly abominable.  This is why we will continue to stay on page 1 - to let people know the extent of how abhorrent you are, and that you are deserving of this bizarre, neverending outburst of ridicule.  In fact, we know we are reaching consumers, your employees, and everyone in between.  We know there is unrest within your company, and we know that a lot of those that work for you enjoy our content, because they hate working for you. Let's really hope no one who's super ambitious tries to unionize your employees, because that just might positively impact the culture of terrible and perception of idiocy you seem to love celebrating.  Or better yet, let's hope your employees aren't actually contacting us and telling things about you, as well.  That would be a shame!

We, the DaniaScrewedMe LLC have come a long way to give up now.  We can't wait until the 20th Annual Page One Party...unless, of course, we put you out of business by then.

Celebrating the Dania ScrewedMe Spirit: Jarrett Seltzer vs. Verizon FIOS

Okay, we know it's been a while since we've posted, and know that you've been hungering for more anti-Dania content.  Fear not, that's well along the way, plus news about this year's Page 1 Party.  Until then, please join us in a Colbert-esque "Tip of the Hat" to celebrate the ever-so-bold Jarret Seltzer, who is fighting back against a company who seems to have embodied the Dania Furniture culture of horrible business practices.  Check out his video below, and root him on!

40 Songs for 1 Million Dania Haters. #1 Playlist for All Dania Furniture Haters on Spotify.

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC is proud to present its first official Spotify playlist entitled, 40 Songs for A Million Dania Haters.  This is the official playlist for Dania Furniture Haters worldwide, because as we all know, they're the worst company in the world. Anyway, for those who are unenlightened or unmotivated to get into it, Spotify is music program that allows users to stream virtually any artist (sorry Beatles fans) online for free.  It's easy to use and can be set up within minutes.  Users are required to sign up through Facebook, so if you don't have an account and/or are a hater, you'll just have to get over it.  

What we love most about Spotify are the great features by allowing users access to a seemingly endless catalog of music spanning the globe, where creating playlists and sharing music with friends is a click and drag away.  For a mere $9.99/mo, you can stream your music to your smartphone and/or tablet for unlimited bytes, and skip the commercials that come with the free version.  For those who are afraid of poor streaming...it's actually pretty seamless and super tight, so emerge from your fear and embrace this.  

Okay, enough of our propaganda...just download the program, use it, love it create your own anti-Dania music playlists, and share it with us!  We will periodically publish our own playlists, so make sure you follow us.

40 Songs for A Million Dania Haters Playlist:

1. James Brown - "The Payback"
2. Menahan Street Band - "The Traitor"
3. Otis Redding - "Hard to Handle"
4. Aloe Blacc - "I Need A Dollar"
5. Icebird (Aaron Living Stone & RJD2) - "Just Love Me"
6. Curtis Mayfield - "Get Down"
7. William Bell - "I Forgot to be Your Lover"
8. Charles Bradley +  Menahan Street Band  - "The World (is Going Up in Flames)"
9. Cody Chesnutt - "Can't Get No Betta'"
10. The Roots + Joanna Newsom + STS - "Right On"
11. Cut Chemist - "The Garden"
12. Little People - "Last Fare"
13. Shabazz Palaces - "Swerve...the Reeping of All That is Worthwhile..."
14. Craft Spells - "After the Moment"
15. Future Islands - "In the Fall"
16. Blonde Redhead - "Equus"
17. Empire of the Sun - "Delta Bay"
18. Portugal. The Man - "All My People"
19. Broken Bells - "The Mall & Misery"
20. Sea Wolf - "You're A Wolf"
21. Gonzales - "CM Blues"
22. Bon Iver - "I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time"
23. Big Boi - "Turns Me On"
24. Big L - "Nigga Please"
25. Notorious BIG - "Gimme the Loot"
26. MF Doom - "Potholderz"
27. Jay-Z + Kanye West - "Gotta Have it"
28. Busta Rhymes - "Gimme Some More"
29. Tyler the Creator - "Yonkers"
30. Lil Wayne - "A Mili"
31. 2Pac - "Hit'em Up"
32. Ticktockman - ""Sinister Mystery Cloud Swallows Ships"
33. Islands - "Can't Feel My Face"
34. The Unicorns - "Tuff Ghost"
35. Thee Oh Sees - "Contraption/Soul Desert"
36. Nirvana - "Aint it A Shame"
37. Dan Auerbach - "Mean Monsoon"
38. Ugly Casanova - "Here's to Now"
39. The Cave Singers - "Dancing on Our Graves"
40. Jack White - "Sixteen Saltines"

Dania Furniture in Northbrook, IL (Near Chicago). One Could Only Assume it's Terrible.

Northbrook, Illinois is a northshore suburb of Chicago whose upscaleness has been tainted by the presence of a terrible Dania Furniture location (more on this below). Formerly known as "Northbrook Village," it is a city with close to 200 years of white history.  Anyway, now, it's a small city, at a population of 33,170 people, where nearly three-quarters are married. As you can tell, this is a family-oriented, tight knit community that values traditional, pure, wholesome midwestern values.  Northbrook is a city where young couples realize their future, where parents feel safe to raise their kids, and where these parents transition into adulthood.  It's a microcosm of every feelgood, affluent, safe neighborhood that details the American Dream with spacious housing, nice yards, great public education, without any need for neighborhood watch patrols. What people love most about Northbrook is the fact that strangers easily smile and wave at each other, with random conversations with people that soon become friends.  You know, a place where everyone knows each others' names, like Cheers, minus the alcoholism.

Man oh man...what a city to live...or maybe more like what a city to have lived in.

How can the residents of Northbrook ever feel the high levels of self-esteem and pride with a terrible Dania Furniture store in their neighborhood?  This is the precise type of city that doesn't need a Dania Furniture with their tortuous furniture delivery history and their Canal Streetesque rip-off designs.  Dania's most suited for cities littered with liquor stores and payday loans shops, where the unemployment rate is higher than the average test scores.

Crate & Barrel, the purveyors of fancy, expensive, realdeal high-end home furniture and furnishings has its headquarters in Northbrook.  It has been rumored that they were motivated to "remove any association they possibly could with Dania," according to someone high in the evil Dania ranks.  But after all, who could blame C&B for wanting to distance themselves from a "competitor" that is just a terribly bad apple in the furniture game.

Dania's Furniture War on America, has been going on for decades, and when one breaks it down to each individual location, you begin to understand the individual lives that have been ruined by Dania.  In this case, the residents of Northbrook are the ones that lose.  They have been killing community values through their message that it's okay to buy rip-off furniture that's "Scandinavian" by design at fake low prices. Their  ho-hum craftsmanship and lack of humanity in their customer service is truly disgusting, and should be reason enough to not shop there. That stuff belongs to the plebeians, not Northbrookers with their impressive six-figure+ median income.  I mean, seriously...you won't find a Wal-Mart in this town.  You'll have to wander outside the city limits for that one.

If you walk into the Northbrook Dania store, please only do one thing and ask them why they love inflicting strife on people who don't deserve it.  I'm sure their canned answer will only prove that they don't accept any responsibility for what they've done.

Dania, if you're out there, leave the citizens of Northbrook and the employees of Crate and Barrel alone...just go away...

Avoid this location at all cost:
Dania Furniture - Home & Office

1001 Skokie Blvd 

Northbrook, IL 60062
(847) 205-9910

Northbrook (Almost) Fact
Rumor has it Northbrook's beloved son, Steve Bartman drove by Dania earlier on that fateful day. Yes, that same day where he lived quiet, happy life only to be exiled from society for having better defensive prowess than Moises Alou.  Those that know Bartman explained that he would never shop at Dania, let alone walk into the actual store, but that they're absolutely certain that driving by Dania earlier that day led to his reaction as any typical fan trying to catch a foul ball.  According to them, most Northbrook residents see Dania as bad luck, but were surprised to see the impact of this bad luck on such a massive scale.  It's terrible that this grown-up Ikea brand of would single-out one individual in such a heartless way, but it is consistent with Dania's track record of nefarious business practices.

Furniture stores in Northbrook, IL that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and fulfillment.

• Arte's Interiors - Off-the-wall rich people furniture. A nice and bizarre collection for those who see the art in furniture.  Officially the only website with worse design than our very own.
• BoConcept - Okay, so this is actually in Chicago, but if you wanna live well and ball hard, bring the Amex black card.
• Crate & Barrel - Available in every affluent city/neighborhood.
• Home Office Solutions - Turn that drab home office into something beautiful and ergonomic.  
• HomeGoods - Okay, not the tightest name for a furniture store, but they do indeed make very tight looking furniture. It's unique, urban style shows that it knows how to design furniture and home accents in an elegant way and that Dania knows nothing about that.
• The Land of Nod - Upscale, fancy furniture for the child who can't get enough high-end accoutrements.
• Pierce Interiors - Designs and chachkis only a grandmother can enjoy; they must be atop the Guiness World Record for most silver and porcelain in the world.
• Relax the Back - Furniture and lifestyle solutions for those with maddening back pain.  

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Add Dania ScrewedMe on LinkedIn. Let Your Professional Network Know You Hate Dania Furniture.

Impress your professional network by getting LinkedIn with Dania Furniture's fearless enemy, Dania ScrewedMe. Take our word for it, having us as a connection is likely to boost your odds of getting off unemployment by 70%, and even better at 85% for those looking to move onto bigger and better things.  Unlike for-profit educational institutions, we can make these claims.

For those who are uninformed, LinkedIn is the premier online resource for career networking, via social media.  It's a simple, but powerful tool that enables you to have a resume online, receive and post recommendations from anyone, and meet those that may be able to help you in your career. If you're not on there, then you're not maximizing your career potential!  It's not some garbage employment site like monster.com - this is the real deal. Create an account if you don't have one and add us as a connection; already got one? Then add us!

Want a recommendation to let the world know you are willing to work for free to support a cause you can pour your heart and soul into?  Intern at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC, do a kick ass job, and get rewarded with a LinkedIn recommendation that will lead to intense upward mobility, guaranteed.  Case and point: Dr. Charles Stone was a novice in the world of academia, just having earned his doctorate in psychology and moved to Brussels, Belgium. As he acclimated himself to his new surroundings, Dr. Stone found a strange sense of comfort and familiarity with the Anti-Dania Furniture Movement™. Last summer, he joined us in Europe to establish high-level political and social ties to help us take down terrible Dania Furniture. We can't divulge the top secret details here, but let's just say he made us be even more successful than we thought we would...

This internship and our recommendation on his profile gave him the confidence and experience to apply the voluminous amounts of learnings he gained to excel in his field.  Since he interned, he's churned out two big time publications that's earned him endless  shoutouts from academia's highest ivory tower. He's gained so much notoriety for his work that he's been teaching curriculum at his university, where he speaks his version of French, also known as "Broken-French." Indeed, Dr. Stone owes it all to the Dania ScrewedMe LLC for the inspiration to get the most out of himself.

Charles, you're welcome.

This could be you. Reap the rewards of getting Linkedin with us.

Dania Furniture Advertises on Rush Limbaugh Show. Gets Lambasted By Everyone and Their Respective Moms...Plus A Major Advertising Fail on Google Adwords...

Dania Furniture's follies in advertising continue with the recent marketing debacle on The Rush Limbaugh Show, a conservative, political radio talk show.  On February 29, 2012, Rush Limbaugh said a bunch of terrible things about Sandra Fluke, a Georgetown law school student, who has been out/well-spoken in her advocacy of contraceptive coverage by all organizations who offer health benefits to their employees. Limbaugh continued making off the heezie statements about Fluke, until March 3rd, when he issued an apology. Despite this highly divisive political atmosphere, Dania Furniture did not pull advertising after the entire situation unfolded.

A group known as Flush Rush, has formed, in response to Limbaugh's inflammatory commentary, singling Fluke out. They
are applying pressure on companies that advertise on Rush Limbaugh's show, to suspend all advertising. On their Facebook page, they specifically cite advertising for the "Dania" brand by their parent company, Scandinavian Designs (AKA Interline), which is the parent company of Dania, as well as Plummers and Scandinavian Designs.  Dania Furniture ran at least one ad between March 5-16 on KOA 850 AM in Denver, Colorado.

Furthermore, according to another cleverly titled anti-Rush Limbaugh group, Shush Limbaugh, Dania Furniture ran ads on March 5th and 6th in Portland, Oregon's radio station, 102.3 FM, KEX, during the Limbaugh's show. By March 5th, a number of major, national brands pulled their ads in response to a deluge of negative responses by users across The Internets.  These companies apologized for any misassociation or connection to Limbaugh's comments to their product(s) and/or service(s), and informed consumers that they were no longer participating in advertising programs on his show.  On the flip side...in yet another revealing, poor social/business move, Dania Furniture kept running ads, despite the divisive rhetoric that persisted on the airwaves for three days. Nothing like polarizing your audience, eh, Dania Furniture CMO?

As illustrated above in our beautiful screenshot, users across the web have responded, by warning Dania of the impact of this advertising conundrum could result in shrinking sales that could domino into the entire Evil Interline Family crumbling before our very eyes, thanks to misguided dollars invested in fruitless advertising. Wow, who would've ever thought they could cause even more damage to their terrible reputation? The sky's no limit for them, apparently!

In Dania's defense, they mobilized and unleashed their Official Elite Facebook Squad® with an emergency, "war room" meeting in the Dania Furniture Media Center to formulate a strategy geared to rectify this major PR flub.

In response to this, and what users have been posting to their Facebook page, Dania published a nonsensical, canned response to upset users.  No apologies were made, but they simply stated that they've pulled their advertising dollars from the show (how long does it last?) and that they aren't supporting any "platform" or opinion.  They did not state when this exactly took place, whether on their website as a hanging PR piece; all that's acknowledged is their nauseatingly, poorly-written FB wallpost response, taken from a screenshot on March 23rd:

Backlash has indeed been strong, and although it's been over a month since this took place, people are still livid about the entire situation. Consumers can be fickle, especially with high involvement products, like furniture, so it will be interesting to see how much impact this has on the perception of Dania Furniture as a complement to urban, progressive lifestyles. Lesson learned...well, for most companies, but probably not stubborn, fears-getting-better Dania Furniture idiots.

If it's not insult to injury, we also got a few good jabs at Dania. You see, Google contacted us and begged us to use a $200 advertising grant to use Adwords again.  They were so pleased with the results of us engaging in their Adwords program last year, that they sent us multiple requests to advertise.  As a gesture of good will to The Google, we decided to strategically place our ads right between Dania's ad, and their organic listing whenever someone searched for "dania furniture."  What's most awesome about this is that this was their first foray into search engine marketing, and based on our research of what they are doing...we can safely say that they are nauseatingly terrible at it!

People loved our ads, and clearly loved the experience, as we gained hundreds of users that spent more than 5 minutes on our page! The ad shown above is our most successful ad to date, as you may have seen it run before previously. Unfortunately, they only advertised for a month or so, and have since ceased all search engine marketing campaigns. We doubt they had any way they could judge the efficacy of their online advertising efforts, aside from "awareness" or "branding" campaigns. You see, users can't even buy anything off their website. Nothing, and no uses of QR codes to date (that's a freebie, Dania). There's no way they can even understand if their advertising was working, and smart companies with an online presence never waste dollars on idiotic initiatives like that. Boy would we be freaking out if we served on the board for Interline/Scandinavian Designs!

Anyway, why should any company sell stuff online? It's not like there's a successful company that sells does it. 

Dania Furniture in Portland, Oregon. Probably A Nightmare of an Experience.

Portland, Oregon is a small, large metropolitan city of half a million plus people, just off the coast of the Pacific Ocean. Fun fact: Portland has more nicknames than Dirt McGirt, like PDX, the City of Roses (official), Beervana, P-Town, Stumptown, etc.  Much like its sister city, Seattle, Washington, Portland is one of the major cities of the Pacific Northwest, and is ruled by grey skies, caffeine, yummy beer, and beautiful artistic sadness.

Despite this seemingly depressing environment, Portland flourishes under these conditions.  It's a young, lively city dominated by food trucks, great music, retired hipsters, and a bunch of strip clubs.Indeed, Portland is a vast, vibrant land of 95 unique neighborhoods, where you're not too far away from the flavorful fun from their love of brewing killer beer.  Expert socialite, Kris Emery, describes it as "the greatest city ever;" noting that the people in Portland are better than most.  High praise from America's favorite Dania hater. Indeed, you can easily romp around the city for a weekend, or even get lost and live a lifetime there.  Anything goes in Portland.

Socially, Portland is a progressive, liberal city that has an open attitude to a variety of lifestyles and political choices...on the left-leaning side of the spectrum. Most notably, Portland reflects the states' love of free speech, has a giant LGBT population, and resides in only one of two states (joined by Washington) in permitting Netherlands-like euthanasia. We think it's fair to say that if you're a tolerant person, you'll enjoy living in Portland.

Unfortunately, the future of Portland is at risk of being wiped off the planet, due to a decline in birth rate. With 44% of the population in the 18 to 44 years old range, there should be plenty of fantastic Portlandians contributing to the gene pool to make society better!  What on earth is preventing America's coolest people from procreating?

Some have suggested to us that the mere terribleness of Dania's existence in Portland (including their other Oregon locations) has single-handedly siphoned out the love, romance, and passion of Portlandians such that they are not reproducing. We reject that notion, because it seems pretty crazy, although we do agree that Dania is terrible and bad.  We're sure there are other reasons as to why that's the case, but we do not have any evidence that Dania isn't sucking out the love that ignites the passion that creates families, or that the sheer horror that is Dania is sterilizing a significant population of Oregon.  With nearly 60% of Oregon's state population being concentrated in the greater Portland metropolitan area, it certainly does seem odd, but again...we don't agree with it, despite the fact that we can discredit that strong, seems-like-a-fact-but-isn't, opinion.

Hopefully Portlandians can find a way to keep procreating, to keep their cool-ass city alive, well, and with a future. Can someone at least stop selling contraceptives there for cryin out loud?! Portland, we are praying for you. Do yourself a favor and avoid this location and/or calling them, at all cost:

Dania Furniture in Hollywood District
1905 NE 41st Ave
Portland, OR 97212
(503) 284-0880

Furniture stores in Portland, OR that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and lifelong fulfillment.

• City Liquidators - Family-owned and operated for over 30 years, offering new and used, home and office furniture at heavily discounted prices. 
• Hunt &Gather - Large variety of different looks at real high-end furniture. Everything from traditional, to urban, to super funky, futuristic and everything in between. 
• Hive Modern Design - Hella sleek, hella fancy...super tight gear. You know, everything Dania Furniture isn't.
• IKEA - Affordable furniture you build with tools cro magnon designed.  
• Macy's - Three locations in Portland offering their furniture gallery. It's good to live in Portland!
• Paul Schatz Furniture - As described on their website, they boast "the finest in home furnishings that specialize in the Northwest lifestyle." Finally, a couch to match your flannel shirts!
• Shleifer Furniture - Home furniture for those with space to spare...big comfy couches, giant beds, and anything other kind of furniture you could possibly want - supersized.
• West Elm - Sharp, modern design in lots of different urban styles. 

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture Sales Associates Earn Less Than the Homeless, According to SimplyHired.com

SimplyHired.com, a career-based search engine, has published a shocking report, exposing Dania Furniture as a heartless employer - a universal belief, now substantiated by a website.  According to their calculations, The Homeless earn 40% more than the average sales associate at Dania.  Specifically, a Dania Furniture sales associate, earns an average of $24,000, as opposed to the average salary of a homeless person, which is $40,000.  In other words, according to this very true, factually-reliable, probably not incorrect data - Dania sales associates earns just 60% of your average homeless person.

No details around benefits have been disclosed, but it does make us wonder if they would offer any, considering the average wage of those without housing earn more than Dania employees.  Man oh man...it sure does sound like someone needs to unionize them.

While we hate Dania Furniture with all of our collective heart, we do advocate that Dania employees are given a fair wage, at least equal to that of the homeless and that they be equipped with skills and training to perform a job well done.  It's clear that Dania headquarters would rather invest in maintaining their tacky, gaudy, out-of-touch universe of bloated salaries and lifetyles.  Their terrible corporate culture, of arrogance, greed, and neglect that creates a social wall of out-of-touchedness that their frontline employees exhibit in the showroom.  This is likely spreading to their outsourced furniture delivery partner, Suntrax Logistics. This is the only reasonable conclusion.

We often reflect upon our meeting with a former Dania sales associate (the one holding the trophy we awarded to Dania at the Page 1 Party) and recall his experience of working at Dania Furniture.  "It fucking sucked!" was his visceral reaction. He was furious at just the thought of working there, and genuinely enjoyed the fact that Dania was awarded "World's Worst Furniture Store of 2011."  While we didn't dwell on this topic by asking him to recall those terrifying, nightmare-like memories, it was evident that he was a wounded a soul, despite the great strength he harnessed to move forward.

That's the look of pure redemption.

There but for the grace of God, go we.

His story is an amazing one of mental fortitude and triumph.  He embodies the American spirit and what our forefathers fought for - life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Let this fantastic example he has set be one for us to model our lives after.

There is a life after Dania...whether you've worked there or made the grave mistake of shopping there...all it takes is a fighting spirit and the mentality of taking it one day at a time...stay strong Dania Furniture employees...there is a way out.

Dania Furniture in Seattle. A Really Bad Review Based on A Really Bad Experience.

Seattle, Washington sits along the beautiful, northwestern coastline of the Pacific Ocean, that's fills out a corner of a US region known as The Pacific Northwest.  It's a small big city, that loves urban sprawl, and has great appreciation for its green, mountainous surroundings (hence the nickname, "Emerald City") that are ideal for those who love winter sports and being cold. While infamous for a misconception of constant rain, Seattle's mostly grey skies with drops of rain here and there.  Despite this dreary, unfun weather fact, it is home to the world's greatest summers, usually. It's also home to the headquarters of the Dania ScrewedMe LLC.  Yay!

There is a popular notion that Seattle is a lame city, thanks to the evil, demonic liberal media that perpetuates Seattle as a lame city, by producing yawn-inducing "entertainment" like Frasier, Grey's Anatomy, and Sleepless in Seattle.  Comedic genius, Dave Chappelle, even described Seattle as "a city where a white guy can just be a white guy." While, there's much truth in Chapelle's observational jest, Seattle celebrates diversity and liberalism, as long as you're not one of the bad cops. Almost 22% of Seattle's population is made up of Asians and Blacks; that beats the national average by 5%!

Seattle may be humble in size, versus other metropolitan areas, but it has made its iconic mark in terms of social significance throughout the decades. Seattle alone fuels the world's IT needs, with the headquarters of Amazon and Microsoft here, most notably (Silicon What?). The great Ken Griffey Jr. climbed/ran into walls and clobbered home runs here, while NFL Hall of Famer, Cortez Kennedy played on the same team as pre-busted-for-prostitution Eugene Robinson in the winter. Bill Gates decided to build a giant building in the Queen Anne neighborhood designed specifically to give away billions and billions of dollars.  Yep, there's a lot of cool, socially-relevant stuff going on over here...past and present.

And of course...the bad news...there are two terrible Dania Furniture Stores in the city; one in the Roosevelt Neigbhorhood and one in Pioneer Square.  As you must be aware by now, the inspiration to create this awesome blog was the result of shopping at the Pioneer location. The long on the short is that I paid for furniture delivery, they failed to deliver it, and they charged me for it.  They told me that if I wanted to have it redelivered, I'd owe them an additional $75. I instructed them that they can't redeliver anything that wasn't delivered in the first place.  They didn't get it. We fought for hours on the phone, after a week, I was eventually refunded the delivery fee; over one year later, this blog is still alive and kicking.  Don't worry, I told the store manager I was going to create an online revolution against them, and she simply laughed me off the phone and gave me clearance. Get the long story here.

We here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC have pondered why Dania would opt to stain a wonderful city like Seattle with two idiotic locations.  The only reasonable conclusion is that they wanted to be associated with artistic excellence, in order to associate its terrible brand with a city known for appreciation and cultivation of the arts. Even if it means killing a city, like terrific Seattle.  Regardless of what terrible things they do, they will never ruin Seattle, despite their best efforts.

Why? Because they are horrible, and Seattle isn't.  How bad could a city get, when it nurtured and developed music icons like, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain and introduced them to the world. The very icons who explored songwriting and music to levels never heard of before, and established new precedence in Rock that have yet to be matched or redefined.  [Royal] We even made flannel fashionable, thanks to long haired musicians that loved to play loudass music. Death Cab for Cutie made it en vogue to shop at thrift stores and listen to songs exclusively about feelings.  Sir-Mix-A-Lot was inspired by big asses he saw in Seattle in capitol hill, and turned it into a national anthem that defined a generation.  In other words, what a city!  Dania could never bring it down...no matter how overpriced their furniture is, or how many times they fail to deliver furniture.

To have Dania in such a fantastic city is not only unfair, but cruel.  We encourage you, faithful blog subscriber, to not only not shop there, but organize picket groups to tell Dania that we don't want them to sully this great city.

Alright, moving forward..we suggest not just furniture shoppers, but all of humanity to avoid coming in contact with a Dania store at all cost.  After all, it's not an uncommon response for those to immediately go blind after seeing a Dania storefront.  Make sure you check out your alternatives to Dania, right underneath their terrible addresses!


Dania Furniture
6416 Roosevelt Way NE
Seattle, WA 98115
(206) 524-9611

Dania Furniture
825 Western Ave
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 262-1001


Furniture stores in Seattle, WA that aren't Dania:
Below are furniture stores in Seattle that are likely to provide you with a better experience than shopping at Dania.  We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.

• Ashley Furniture - A large national chain with furniture solutions for any need.
• Cost Plus World - Not just furniture is sold here, folks.  They've also got tons of home furnishings, accessories, and products that could put you into debt settlement. Bring multiple credit cards.
• Design Within Reach - Barb H who commented below expressed some concerns, based on her experiences there. Caveat emptor, y'all.
• Furniture Factory Direct - Affordable furniture for those looking to save on new items.
• Kasala - Now, this is real high-end furniture.  Not that terribly nauseating stuff at Dania.
• Macy's - #manohman is Macy's great.  It's just great. This corporation is definitely a person. 
• McKinnon Furniture - Home furnishings and custom millwork! Oh my!
• Mor Furniture - Mor prides itself on its low prices and customer-friendly financing options to help make furniture more affordable.
• Retrofit Home - Super tight looking furniture ideal for urbanites with an eye for design. Truly baller stuff.

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture in Roseville, Minnesota. Probably A Terrible Shopping Experience.

Roseville, Minnesota  is a suburb outside of the "Twin Cities" and is an ideal choice to live in for those seeking a safe, vibrant city ideal for families and those that enjoy the outdoors.  It's also a great place to shop. While it's a small city of less than 35,000 people, it is an area with a strong retail presence, due to neighboring populations exceeding 600,000 people, between St. Paul and Minneapolis alone.  In fact, the very first Target and Best Buy were built there, and not too far off is the famed, Mall of America...the nation's most consumer-friendly shopping epicenter. Indeed, this is an area rich in opportunities for people to shop for solutions to meet their needs, as well as a resource of employment.

And of course, leave it to terrible Dania Furniture to take advantage of this situation and insert itself into an area, where consumers are likely to shop and trust that their hard earned dollars will be well spent.  We here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC refuse to allow this to happen.  Dania's taking advantage of the sweet, trusting nature of Midwesterners, and we will no longer be tolerate this exploitation of honest Americans trying to get by. Dania's mere presence in the area threatens every business in the area, because if consumers continue to shop their, they will likely stop shopping in the area as a consequence of their misinformed decision they will likely regret with much bitterness.

How dare Dania saunter into an area and figuratively urinate all over this sacred land by opening up one of its terrible locations there?!  This is the hometown of  Richard Dean Anderson, for the love of God!

Okay, moving forward...you're likely to not even want to drive by the store itself, so if you want to avoid it at all cost, below's the address.  It's not an uncommon response for those to immediately feel nothing but physical pain and emotional emptiness after seeing a Dania storefront.  Make sure you check out your alternatives to Dania, right underneath their terrible address!

Dania Furniture
2875 N Snelling Ave
Roseville, MN 55113
(651) 636-7333

Furniture stores in Roseville, MN that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and fulfillment.

• Becker Furniture World - Check out this spot for their never ending barrage of sales and specials - sometimes offering long-term 0% interest offers and free delivery.
• Crate & Barrel - This chain is everywhere and you probably didn't need us to link you to it, but we did anyway.
• Hom Furniture - Giant furniture store with loads of sales and clearances. Shop here and save some bucks
• Macy's - Man oh man...we cannot say how much we love shopping there. 
• Schneidernman's - Offering furniture solutions for all ages and scenarios, from indoor/outdoor furnishings, home office and beyond.
• Slumberland Furniture - Beautifully designed home furnishings that Dania wishes it could produce. Also, unlike Dania, you can purchase things off their website...how novel!

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

BTW, much thanks and love to anti-SOPA heroes, Wikipedia for a lot of the information used on this page and throughout this website.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.