Add Dania ScrewedMe on LinkedIn. Let Your Professional Network Know You Hate Dania Furniture.

Impress your professional network by getting LinkedIn with Dania Furniture's fearless enemy, Dania ScrewedMe. Take our word for it, having us as a connection is likely to boost your odds of getting off unemployment by 70%, and even better at 85% for those looking to move onto bigger and better things.  Unlike for-profit educational institutions, we can make these claims.

For those who are uninformed, LinkedIn is the premier online resource for career networking, via social media.  It's a simple, but powerful tool that enables you to have a resume online, receive and post recommendations from anyone, and meet those that may be able to help you in your career. If you're not on there, then you're not maximizing your career potential!  It's not some garbage employment site like monster.com - this is the real deal. Create an account if you don't have one and add us as a connection; already got one? Then add us!

Want a recommendation to let the world know you are willing to work for free to support a cause you can pour your heart and soul into?  Intern at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC, do a kick ass job, and get rewarded with a LinkedIn recommendation that will lead to intense upward mobility, guaranteed.  Case and point: Dr. Charles Stone was a novice in the world of academia, just having earned his doctorate in psychology and moved to Brussels, Belgium. As he acclimated himself to his new surroundings, Dr. Stone found a strange sense of comfort and familiarity with the Anti-Dania Furniture Movement™. Last summer, he joined us in Europe to establish high-level political and social ties to help us take down terrible Dania Furniture. We can't divulge the top secret details here, but let's just say he made us be even more successful than we thought we would...

This internship and our recommendation on his profile gave him the confidence and experience to apply the voluminous amounts of learnings he gained to excel in his field.  Since he interned, he's churned out two big time publications that's earned him endless  shoutouts from academia's highest ivory tower. He's gained so much notoriety for his work that he's been teaching curriculum at his university, where he speaks his version of French, also known as "Broken-French." Indeed, Dr. Stone owes it all to the Dania ScrewedMe LLC for the inspiration to get the most out of himself.

Charles, you're welcome.

This could be you. Reap the rewards of getting Linkedin with us.

Dania Furniture Sales Associates Earn Less Than the Homeless, According to SimplyHired.com

SimplyHired.com, a career-based search engine, has published a shocking report, exposing Dania Furniture as a heartless employer - a universal belief, now substantiated by a website.  According to their calculations, The Homeless earn 40% more than the average sales associate at Dania.  Specifically, a Dania Furniture sales associate, earns an average of $24,000, as opposed to the average salary of a homeless person, which is $40,000.  In other words, according to this very true, factually-reliable, probably not incorrect data - Dania sales associates earns just 60% of your average homeless person.

No details around benefits have been disclosed, but it does make us wonder if they would offer any, considering the average wage of those without housing earn more than Dania employees.  Man oh man...it sure does sound like someone needs to unionize them.

While we hate Dania Furniture with all of our collective heart, we do advocate that Dania employees are given a fair wage, at least equal to that of the homeless and that they be equipped with skills and training to perform a job well done.  It's clear that Dania headquarters would rather invest in maintaining their tacky, gaudy, out-of-touch universe of bloated salaries and lifetyles.  Their terrible corporate culture, of arrogance, greed, and neglect that creates a social wall of out-of-touchedness that their frontline employees exhibit in the showroom.  This is likely spreading to their outsourced furniture delivery partner, Suntrax Logistics. This is the only reasonable conclusion.

We often reflect upon our meeting with a former Dania sales associate (the one holding the trophy we awarded to Dania at the Page 1 Party) and recall his experience of working at Dania Furniture.  "It fucking sucked!" was his visceral reaction. He was furious at just the thought of working there, and genuinely enjoyed the fact that Dania was awarded "World's Worst Furniture Store of 2011."  While we didn't dwell on this topic by asking him to recall those terrifying, nightmare-like memories, it was evident that he was a wounded a soul, despite the great strength he harnessed to move forward.

That's the look of pure redemption.

There but for the grace of God, go we.

His story is an amazing one of mental fortitude and triumph.  He embodies the American spirit and what our forefathers fought for - life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Let this fantastic example he has set be one for us to model our lives after.

There is a life after Dania...whether you've worked there or made the grave mistake of shopping there...all it takes is a fighting spirit and the mentality of taking it one day at a time...stay strong Dania Furniture employees...there is a way out.