Dania Furniture in Kirkland, Washington is A Store You Probably Shouldn't Solicit, Because We're Assuming it's Bad.

Kirkland, Washington is an affluent, jovial city just outside of Seattle in an area known as the Eastside.  With nearly half of its population in the mostly white 18 to 44 range, it's a youthful area where young urban professionals area able to afford to settle down and stay connected to nearby cities, like Bellevue, Redmond and Seattle.  It's a modestly sized city of ~50,000 residents that rests beautifully along beautiful Lake Washington,.  Unfortunately, this is the type of demographic profiling that Dania Furniture uses when deciding which neighborhood to underserve and terrorize. You know, young people with money that are trying to plan their future in tumultuous times and are tricked by Dania's veiled faux-elegance and shoddily manufactured microfiber garbage.  Local newspaper, the Kirkland Reporter has yet to publish any content around this, but we know it's likely happening very soon.

While mostly residential, Kirkland also serves as a home for the headquarters of growing technology companies, but most notably truck producing mammoth, Kenworth.  It should be noted that Kirkland once served as the home for the Seahawks' training facility and awesome Costco Wholesale. Kirkland Signature, the white label brand for said wholesale magnate gets its name from this fantastic city that doesn't deserve to have a Dania in its city limits (but what city really does?).

Oh, Dania leave Kirkland alone!

Over a year ago, we were reunited with John, an old vision quest friend who we hadn't seen in a decade.  This person - this titan in the technology field - had relocated to Kirkland at the time.  Looking for affordable options to furnish his home with, he and his better half turned to the web where they found us.  Thanks to our jarring personal story of strife, tribulation, trials, pain, crying, tears, snot, whining, victimization, etc. he opted to shop elsewhere.  To this day, he thanks us for helping him reach a sound solution - that is avoiding the consumer experience at Dania, the world's worst company ever. That's right, we intercepted a customer and converted him and his beautiful family into a team of believers.

For those consider shopping at Dania, be like John and just say no. Don't be a victim like @TotallyTypeA, whose poor customer experience at the very store we speak of inspired her to take her anger and frustration to Twitter. And...of course let us not forget Naarski's comment on a post made early on in this fantastic blog's inception.  Bottom line: don't let history repeat itself of making innocent consumers into depressed, tormented victims.  Avoid this location at all cost:

Dania Furniture
12230 NE 116th St
Kirkland, WA 98034
(425) 823-9160

Furniture Shopping Options That Are Way Better Than Dania:
Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

• Design Within Reach - Now, this is the store Dania wishes it were. Sleek, high-end furniture and accessories design for the home, office and beyond. 
• My Home Furniture and Decor - Yes, their website looks like it was designed in 1999, but give them a chance.  Offering a wide selection of stuff to fill your home with traditional designs to modern.
• Simplicity Decor - Funky ass home accessories and super modern looking chachkis to impress your friends and break the bank.
• Z Gallerie - Leisure, comfort and baller appearances. They offer a wide range of furniture with a lot of overlap in pricing relative to Dania. 

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on real furniture alternatives in other areas.

40 Songs for 1 Million Dania Haters. #1 Playlist for All Dania Furniture Haters on Spotify.

The Dania ScrewedMe LLC is proud to present its first official Spotify playlist entitled, 40 Songs for A Million Dania Haters.  This is the official playlist for Dania Furniture Haters worldwide, because as we all know, they're the worst company in the world. Anyway, for those who are unenlightened or unmotivated to get into it, Spotify is music program that allows users to stream virtually any artist (sorry Beatles fans) online for free.  It's easy to use and can be set up within minutes.  Users are required to sign up through Facebook, so if you don't have an account and/or are a hater, you'll just have to get over it.  

What we love most about Spotify are the great features by allowing users access to a seemingly endless catalog of music spanning the globe, where creating playlists and sharing music with friends is a click and drag away.  For a mere $9.99/mo, you can stream your music to your smartphone and/or tablet for unlimited bytes, and skip the commercials that come with the free version.  For those who are afraid of poor streaming...it's actually pretty seamless and super tight, so emerge from your fear and embrace this.  

Okay, enough of our propaganda...just download the program, use it, love it create your own anti-Dania music playlists, and share it with us!  We will periodically publish our own playlists, so make sure you follow us.

40 Songs for A Million Dania Haters Playlist:

1. James Brown - "The Payback"
2. Menahan Street Band - "The Traitor"
3. Otis Redding - "Hard to Handle"
4. Aloe Blacc - "I Need A Dollar"
5. Icebird (Aaron Living Stone & RJD2) - "Just Love Me"
6. Curtis Mayfield - "Get Down"
7. William Bell - "I Forgot to be Your Lover"
8. Charles Bradley +  Menahan Street Band  - "The World (is Going Up in Flames)"
9. Cody Chesnutt - "Can't Get No Betta'"
10. The Roots + Joanna Newsom + STS - "Right On"
11. Cut Chemist - "The Garden"
12. Little People - "Last Fare"
13. Shabazz Palaces - "Swerve...the Reeping of All That is Worthwhile..."
14. Craft Spells - "After the Moment"
15. Future Islands - "In the Fall"
16. Blonde Redhead - "Equus"
17. Empire of the Sun - "Delta Bay"
18. Portugal. The Man - "All My People"
19. Broken Bells - "The Mall & Misery"
20. Sea Wolf - "You're A Wolf"
21. Gonzales - "CM Blues"
22. Bon Iver - "I Can't Make You Love Me/Nick of Time"
23. Big Boi - "Turns Me On"
24. Big L - "Nigga Please"
25. Notorious BIG - "Gimme the Loot"
26. MF Doom - "Potholderz"
27. Jay-Z + Kanye West - "Gotta Have it"
28. Busta Rhymes - "Gimme Some More"
29. Tyler the Creator - "Yonkers"
30. Lil Wayne - "A Mili"
31. 2Pac - "Hit'em Up"
32. Ticktockman - ""Sinister Mystery Cloud Swallows Ships"
33. Islands - "Can't Feel My Face"
34. The Unicorns - "Tuff Ghost"
35. Thee Oh Sees - "Contraption/Soul Desert"
36. Nirvana - "Aint it A Shame"
37. Dan Auerbach - "Mean Monsoon"
38. Ugly Casanova - "Here's to Now"
39. The Cave Singers - "Dancing on Our Graves"
40. Jack White - "Sixteen Saltines"

Dania Furniture in Northbrook, IL (Near Chicago). One Could Only Assume it's Terrible.

Northbrook, Illinois is a northshore suburb of Chicago whose upscaleness has been tainted by the presence of a terrible Dania Furniture location (more on this below). Formerly known as "Northbrook Village," it is a city with close to 200 years of white history.  Anyway, now, it's a small city, at a population of 33,170 people, where nearly three-quarters are married. As you can tell, this is a family-oriented, tight knit community that values traditional, pure, wholesome midwestern values.  Northbrook is a city where young couples realize their future, where parents feel safe to raise their kids, and where these parents transition into adulthood.  It's a microcosm of every feelgood, affluent, safe neighborhood that details the American Dream with spacious housing, nice yards, great public education, without any need for neighborhood watch patrols. What people love most about Northbrook is the fact that strangers easily smile and wave at each other, with random conversations with people that soon become friends.  You know, a place where everyone knows each others' names, like Cheers, minus the alcoholism.

Man oh man...what a city to live...or maybe more like what a city to have lived in.

How can the residents of Northbrook ever feel the high levels of self-esteem and pride with a terrible Dania Furniture store in their neighborhood?  This is the precise type of city that doesn't need a Dania Furniture with their tortuous furniture delivery history and their Canal Streetesque rip-off designs.  Dania's most suited for cities littered with liquor stores and payday loans shops, where the unemployment rate is higher than the average test scores.

Crate & Barrel, the purveyors of fancy, expensive, realdeal high-end home furniture and furnishings has its headquarters in Northbrook.  It has been rumored that they were motivated to "remove any association they possibly could with Dania," according to someone high in the evil Dania ranks.  But after all, who could blame C&B for wanting to distance themselves from a "competitor" that is just a terribly bad apple in the furniture game.

Dania's Furniture War on America, has been going on for decades, and when one breaks it down to each individual location, you begin to understand the individual lives that have been ruined by Dania.  In this case, the residents of Northbrook are the ones that lose.  They have been killing community values through their message that it's okay to buy rip-off furniture that's "Scandinavian" by design at fake low prices. Their  ho-hum craftsmanship and lack of humanity in their customer service is truly disgusting, and should be reason enough to not shop there. That stuff belongs to the plebeians, not Northbrookers with their impressive six-figure+ median income.  I mean, seriously...you won't find a Wal-Mart in this town.  You'll have to wander outside the city limits for that one.

If you walk into the Northbrook Dania store, please only do one thing and ask them why they love inflicting strife on people who don't deserve it.  I'm sure their canned answer will only prove that they don't accept any responsibility for what they've done.

Dania, if you're out there, leave the citizens of Northbrook and the employees of Crate and Barrel alone...just go away...

Avoid this location at all cost:
Dania Furniture - Home & Office

1001 Skokie Blvd 

Northbrook, IL 60062
(847) 205-9910

Northbrook (Almost) Fact
Rumor has it Northbrook's beloved son, Steve Bartman drove by Dania earlier on that fateful day. Yes, that same day where he lived quiet, happy life only to be exiled from society for having better defensive prowess than Moises Alou.  Those that know Bartman explained that he would never shop at Dania, let alone walk into the actual store, but that they're absolutely certain that driving by Dania earlier that day led to his reaction as any typical fan trying to catch a foul ball.  According to them, most Northbrook residents see Dania as bad luck, but were surprised to see the impact of this bad luck on such a massive scale.  It's terrible that this grown-up Ikea brand of would single-out one individual in such a heartless way, but it is consistent with Dania's track record of nefarious business practices.

Furniture stores in Northbrook, IL that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and fulfillment.

• Arte's Interiors - Off-the-wall rich people furniture. A nice and bizarre collection for those who see the art in furniture.  Officially the only website with worse design than our very own.
• BoConcept - Okay, so this is actually in Chicago, but if you wanna live well and ball hard, bring the Amex black card.
• Crate & Barrel - Available in every affluent city/neighborhood.
• Home Office Solutions - Turn that drab home office into something beautiful and ergonomic.  
• HomeGoods - Okay, not the tightest name for a furniture store, but they do indeed make very tight looking furniture. It's unique, urban style shows that it knows how to design furniture and home accents in an elegant way and that Dania knows nothing about that.
• The Land of Nod - Upscale, fancy furniture for the child who can't get enough high-end accoutrements.
• Pierce Interiors - Designs and chachkis only a grandmother can enjoy; they must be atop the Guiness World Record for most silver and porcelain in the world.
• Relax the Back - Furniture and lifestyle solutions for those with maddening back pain.  

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Add Dania ScrewedMe on LinkedIn. Let Your Professional Network Know You Hate Dania Furniture.

Impress your professional network by getting LinkedIn with Dania Furniture's fearless enemy, Dania ScrewedMe. Take our word for it, having us as a connection is likely to boost your odds of getting off unemployment by 70%, and even better at 85% for those looking to move onto bigger and better things.  Unlike for-profit educational institutions, we can make these claims.

For those who are uninformed, LinkedIn is the premier online resource for career networking, via social media.  It's a simple, but powerful tool that enables you to have a resume online, receive and post recommendations from anyone, and meet those that may be able to help you in your career. If you're not on there, then you're not maximizing your career potential!  It's not some garbage employment site like monster.com - this is the real deal. Create an account if you don't have one and add us as a connection; already got one? Then add us!

Want a recommendation to let the world know you are willing to work for free to support a cause you can pour your heart and soul into?  Intern at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC, do a kick ass job, and get rewarded with a LinkedIn recommendation that will lead to intense upward mobility, guaranteed.  Case and point: Dr. Charles Stone was a novice in the world of academia, just having earned his doctorate in psychology and moved to Brussels, Belgium. As he acclimated himself to his new surroundings, Dr. Stone found a strange sense of comfort and familiarity with the Anti-Dania Furniture Movement™. Last summer, he joined us in Europe to establish high-level political and social ties to help us take down terrible Dania Furniture. We can't divulge the top secret details here, but let's just say he made us be even more successful than we thought we would...

This internship and our recommendation on his profile gave him the confidence and experience to apply the voluminous amounts of learnings he gained to excel in his field.  Since he interned, he's churned out two big time publications that's earned him endless  shoutouts from academia's highest ivory tower. He's gained so much notoriety for his work that he's been teaching curriculum at his university, where he speaks his version of French, also known as "Broken-French." Indeed, Dr. Stone owes it all to the Dania ScrewedMe LLC for the inspiration to get the most out of himself.

Charles, you're welcome.

This could be you. Reap the rewards of getting Linkedin with us.

Dania Furniture Advertises on Rush Limbaugh Show. Gets Lambasted By Everyone and Their Respective Moms...Plus A Major Advertising Fail on Google Adwords...

Dania Furniture's follies in advertising continue with the recent marketing debacle on The Rush Limbaugh Show, a conservative, political radio talk show.  On February 29, 2012, Rush Limbaugh said a bunch of terrible things about Sandra Fluke, a Georgetown law school student, who has been out/well-spoken in her advocacy of contraceptive coverage by all organizations who offer health benefits to their employees. Limbaugh continued making off the heezie statements about Fluke, until March 3rd, when he issued an apology. Despite this highly divisive political atmosphere, Dania Furniture did not pull advertising after the entire situation unfolded.

A group known as Flush Rush, has formed, in response to Limbaugh's inflammatory commentary, singling Fluke out. They
are applying pressure on companies that advertise on Rush Limbaugh's show, to suspend all advertising. On their Facebook page, they specifically cite advertising for the "Dania" brand by their parent company, Scandinavian Designs (AKA Interline), which is the parent company of Dania, as well as Plummers and Scandinavian Designs.  Dania Furniture ran at least one ad between March 5-16 on KOA 850 AM in Denver, Colorado.

Furthermore, according to another cleverly titled anti-Rush Limbaugh group, Shush Limbaugh, Dania Furniture ran ads on March 5th and 6th in Portland, Oregon's radio station, 102.3 FM, KEX, during the Limbaugh's show. By March 5th, a number of major, national brands pulled their ads in response to a deluge of negative responses by users across The Internets.  These companies apologized for any misassociation or connection to Limbaugh's comments to their product(s) and/or service(s), and informed consumers that they were no longer participating in advertising programs on his show.  On the flip side...in yet another revealing, poor social/business move, Dania Furniture kept running ads, despite the divisive rhetoric that persisted on the airwaves for three days. Nothing like polarizing your audience, eh, Dania Furniture CMO?

As illustrated above in our beautiful screenshot, users across the web have responded, by warning Dania of the impact of this advertising conundrum could result in shrinking sales that could domino into the entire Evil Interline Family crumbling before our very eyes, thanks to misguided dollars invested in fruitless advertising. Wow, who would've ever thought they could cause even more damage to their terrible reputation? The sky's no limit for them, apparently!

In Dania's defense, they mobilized and unleashed their Official Elite Facebook Squad® with an emergency, "war room" meeting in the Dania Furniture Media Center to formulate a strategy geared to rectify this major PR flub.

In response to this, and what users have been posting to their Facebook page, Dania published a nonsensical, canned response to upset users.  No apologies were made, but they simply stated that they've pulled their advertising dollars from the show (how long does it last?) and that they aren't supporting any "platform" or opinion.  They did not state when this exactly took place, whether on their website as a hanging PR piece; all that's acknowledged is their nauseatingly, poorly-written FB wallpost response, taken from a screenshot on March 23rd:

Backlash has indeed been strong, and although it's been over a month since this took place, people are still livid about the entire situation. Consumers can be fickle, especially with high involvement products, like furniture, so it will be interesting to see how much impact this has on the perception of Dania Furniture as a complement to urban, progressive lifestyles. Lesson learned...well, for most companies, but probably not stubborn, fears-getting-better Dania Furniture idiots.

If it's not insult to injury, we also got a few good jabs at Dania. You see, Google contacted us and begged us to use a $200 advertising grant to use Adwords again.  They were so pleased with the results of us engaging in their Adwords program last year, that they sent us multiple requests to advertise.  As a gesture of good will to The Google, we decided to strategically place our ads right between Dania's ad, and their organic listing whenever someone searched for "dania furniture."  What's most awesome about this is that this was their first foray into search engine marketing, and based on our research of what they are doing...we can safely say that they are nauseatingly terrible at it!

People loved our ads, and clearly loved the experience, as we gained hundreds of users that spent more than 5 minutes on our page! The ad shown above is our most successful ad to date, as you may have seen it run before previously. Unfortunately, they only advertised for a month or so, and have since ceased all search engine marketing campaigns. We doubt they had any way they could judge the efficacy of their online advertising efforts, aside from "awareness" or "branding" campaigns. You see, users can't even buy anything off their website. Nothing, and no uses of QR codes to date (that's a freebie, Dania). There's no way they can even understand if their advertising was working, and smart companies with an online presence never waste dollars on idiotic initiatives like that. Boy would we be freaking out if we served on the board for Interline/Scandinavian Designs!

Anyway, why should any company sell stuff online? It's not like there's a successful company that sells does it. 

Dania Furniture in Portland, Oregon. Probably A Nightmare of an Experience.

Portland, Oregon is a small, large metropolitan city of half a million plus people, just off the coast of the Pacific Ocean. Fun fact: Portland has more nicknames than Dirt McGirt, like PDX, the City of Roses (official), Beervana, P-Town, Stumptown, etc.  Much like its sister city, Seattle, Washington, Portland is one of the major cities of the Pacific Northwest, and is ruled by grey skies, caffeine, yummy beer, and beautiful artistic sadness.

Despite this seemingly depressing environment, Portland flourishes under these conditions.  It's a young, lively city dominated by food trucks, great music, retired hipsters, and a bunch of strip clubs.Indeed, Portland is a vast, vibrant land of 95 unique neighborhoods, where you're not too far away from the flavorful fun from their love of brewing killer beer.  Expert socialite, Kris Emery, describes it as "the greatest city ever;" noting that the people in Portland are better than most.  High praise from America's favorite Dania hater. Indeed, you can easily romp around the city for a weekend, or even get lost and live a lifetime there.  Anything goes in Portland.

Socially, Portland is a progressive, liberal city that has an open attitude to a variety of lifestyles and political choices...on the left-leaning side of the spectrum. Most notably, Portland reflects the states' love of free speech, has a giant LGBT population, and resides in only one of two states (joined by Washington) in permitting Netherlands-like euthanasia. We think it's fair to say that if you're a tolerant person, you'll enjoy living in Portland.

Unfortunately, the future of Portland is at risk of being wiped off the planet, due to a decline in birth rate. With 44% of the population in the 18 to 44 years old range, there should be plenty of fantastic Portlandians contributing to the gene pool to make society better!  What on earth is preventing America's coolest people from procreating?

Some have suggested to us that the mere terribleness of Dania's existence in Portland (including their other Oregon locations) has single-handedly siphoned out the love, romance, and passion of Portlandians such that they are not reproducing. We reject that notion, because it seems pretty crazy, although we do agree that Dania is terrible and bad.  We're sure there are other reasons as to why that's the case, but we do not have any evidence that Dania isn't sucking out the love that ignites the passion that creates families, or that the sheer horror that is Dania is sterilizing a significant population of Oregon.  With nearly 60% of Oregon's state population being concentrated in the greater Portland metropolitan area, it certainly does seem odd, but again...we don't agree with it, despite the fact that we can discredit that strong, seems-like-a-fact-but-isn't, opinion.

Hopefully Portlandians can find a way to keep procreating, to keep their cool-ass city alive, well, and with a future. Can someone at least stop selling contraceptives there for cryin out loud?! Portland, we are praying for you. Do yourself a favor and avoid this location and/or calling them, at all cost:

Dania Furniture in Hollywood District
1905 NE 41st Ave
Portland, OR 97212
(503) 284-0880

Furniture stores in Portland, OR that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and lifelong fulfillment.

• City Liquidators - Family-owned and operated for over 30 years, offering new and used, home and office furniture at heavily discounted prices. 
• Hunt &Gather - Large variety of different looks at real high-end furniture. Everything from traditional, to urban, to super funky, futuristic and everything in between. 
• Hive Modern Design - Hella sleek, hella fancy...super tight gear. You know, everything Dania Furniture isn't.
• IKEA - Affordable furniture you build with tools cro magnon designed.  
• Macy's - Three locations in Portland offering their furniture gallery. It's good to live in Portland!
• Paul Schatz Furniture - As described on their website, they boast "the finest in home furnishings that specialize in the Northwest lifestyle." Finally, a couch to match your flannel shirts!
• Shleifer Furniture - Home furniture for those with space to spare...big comfy couches, giant beds, and anything other kind of furniture you could possibly want - supersized.
• West Elm - Sharp, modern design in lots of different urban styles. 

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture Sales Associates Earn Less Than the Homeless, According to SimplyHired.com

SimplyHired.com, a career-based search engine, has published a shocking report, exposing Dania Furniture as a heartless employer - a universal belief, now substantiated by a website.  According to their calculations, The Homeless earn 40% more than the average sales associate at Dania.  Specifically, a Dania Furniture sales associate, earns an average of $24,000, as opposed to the average salary of a homeless person, which is $40,000.  In other words, according to this very true, factually-reliable, probably not incorrect data - Dania sales associates earns just 60% of your average homeless person.

No details around benefits have been disclosed, but it does make us wonder if they would offer any, considering the average wage of those without housing earn more than Dania employees.  Man oh man...it sure does sound like someone needs to unionize them.

While we hate Dania Furniture with all of our collective heart, we do advocate that Dania employees are given a fair wage, at least equal to that of the homeless and that they be equipped with skills and training to perform a job well done.  It's clear that Dania headquarters would rather invest in maintaining their tacky, gaudy, out-of-touch universe of bloated salaries and lifetyles.  Their terrible corporate culture, of arrogance, greed, and neglect that creates a social wall of out-of-touchedness that their frontline employees exhibit in the showroom.  This is likely spreading to their outsourced furniture delivery partner, Suntrax Logistics. This is the only reasonable conclusion.

We often reflect upon our meeting with a former Dania sales associate (the one holding the trophy we awarded to Dania at the Page 1 Party) and recall his experience of working at Dania Furniture.  "It fucking sucked!" was his visceral reaction. He was furious at just the thought of working there, and genuinely enjoyed the fact that Dania was awarded "World's Worst Furniture Store of 2011."  While we didn't dwell on this topic by asking him to recall those terrifying, nightmare-like memories, it was evident that he was a wounded a soul, despite the great strength he harnessed to move forward.

That's the look of pure redemption.

There but for the grace of God, go we.

His story is an amazing one of mental fortitude and triumph.  He embodies the American spirit and what our forefathers fought for - life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Let this fantastic example he has set be one for us to model our lives after.

There is a life after Dania...whether you've worked there or made the grave mistake of shopping there...all it takes is a fighting spirit and the mentality of taking it one day at a time...stay strong Dania Furniture employees...there is a way out.

Dania Furniture in Seattle. A Really Bad Review Based on A Really Bad Experience.

Seattle, Washington sits along the beautiful, northwestern coastline of the Pacific Ocean, that's fills out a corner of a US region known as The Pacific Northwest.  It's a small big city, that loves urban sprawl, and has great appreciation for its green, mountainous surroundings (hence the nickname, "Emerald City") that are ideal for those who love winter sports and being cold. While infamous for a misconception of constant rain, Seattle's mostly grey skies with drops of rain here and there.  Despite this dreary, unfun weather fact, it is home to the world's greatest summers, usually. It's also home to the headquarters of the Dania ScrewedMe LLC.  Yay!

There is a popular notion that Seattle is a lame city, thanks to the evil, demonic liberal media that perpetuates Seattle as a lame city, by producing yawn-inducing "entertainment" like Frasier, Grey's Anatomy, and Sleepless in Seattle.  Comedic genius, Dave Chappelle, even described Seattle as "a city where a white guy can just be a white guy." While, there's much truth in Chapelle's observational jest, Seattle celebrates diversity and liberalism, as long as you're not one of the bad cops. Almost 22% of Seattle's population is made up of Asians and Blacks; that beats the national average by 5%!

Seattle may be humble in size, versus other metropolitan areas, but it has made its iconic mark in terms of social significance throughout the decades. Seattle alone fuels the world's IT needs, with the headquarters of Amazon and Microsoft here, most notably (Silicon What?). The great Ken Griffey Jr. climbed/ran into walls and clobbered home runs here, while NFL Hall of Famer, Cortez Kennedy played on the same team as pre-busted-for-prostitution Eugene Robinson in the winter. Bill Gates decided to build a giant building in the Queen Anne neighborhood designed specifically to give away billions and billions of dollars.  Yep, there's a lot of cool, socially-relevant stuff going on over here...past and present.

And of course...the bad news...there are two terrible Dania Furniture Stores in the city; one in the Roosevelt Neigbhorhood and one in Pioneer Square.  As you must be aware by now, the inspiration to create this awesome blog was the result of shopping at the Pioneer location. The long on the short is that I paid for furniture delivery, they failed to deliver it, and they charged me for it.  They told me that if I wanted to have it redelivered, I'd owe them an additional $75. I instructed them that they can't redeliver anything that wasn't delivered in the first place.  They didn't get it. We fought for hours on the phone, after a week, I was eventually refunded the delivery fee; over one year later, this blog is still alive and kicking.  Don't worry, I told the store manager I was going to create an online revolution against them, and she simply laughed me off the phone and gave me clearance. Get the long story here.

We here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC have pondered why Dania would opt to stain a wonderful city like Seattle with two idiotic locations.  The only reasonable conclusion is that they wanted to be associated with artistic excellence, in order to associate its terrible brand with a city known for appreciation and cultivation of the arts. Even if it means killing a city, like terrific Seattle.  Regardless of what terrible things they do, they will never ruin Seattle, despite their best efforts.

Why? Because they are horrible, and Seattle isn't.  How bad could a city get, when it nurtured and developed music icons like, Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain and introduced them to the world. The very icons who explored songwriting and music to levels never heard of before, and established new precedence in Rock that have yet to be matched or redefined.  [Royal] We even made flannel fashionable, thanks to long haired musicians that loved to play loudass music. Death Cab for Cutie made it en vogue to shop at thrift stores and listen to songs exclusively about feelings.  Sir-Mix-A-Lot was inspired by big asses he saw in Seattle in capitol hill, and turned it into a national anthem that defined a generation.  In other words, what a city!  Dania could never bring it down...no matter how overpriced their furniture is, or how many times they fail to deliver furniture.

To have Dania in such a fantastic city is not only unfair, but cruel.  We encourage you, faithful blog subscriber, to not only not shop there, but organize picket groups to tell Dania that we don't want them to sully this great city.

Alright, moving forward..we suggest not just furniture shoppers, but all of humanity to avoid coming in contact with a Dania store at all cost.  After all, it's not an uncommon response for those to immediately go blind after seeing a Dania storefront.  Make sure you check out your alternatives to Dania, right underneath their terrible addresses!


Dania Furniture
6416 Roosevelt Way NE
Seattle, WA 98115
(206) 524-9611

Dania Furniture
825 Western Ave
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 262-1001


Furniture stores in Seattle, WA that aren't Dania:
Below are furniture stores in Seattle that are likely to provide you with a better experience than shopping at Dania.  We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.

• Ashley Furniture - A large national chain with furniture solutions for any need.
• Cost Plus World - Not just furniture is sold here, folks.  They've also got tons of home furnishings, accessories, and products that could put you into debt settlement. Bring multiple credit cards.
• Design Within Reach - Barb H who commented below expressed some concerns, based on her experiences there. Caveat emptor, y'all.
• Furniture Factory Direct - Affordable furniture for those looking to save on new items.
• Kasala - Now, this is real high-end furniture.  Not that terribly nauseating stuff at Dania.
• Macy's - #manohman is Macy's great.  It's just great. This corporation is definitely a person. 
• McKinnon Furniture - Home furnishings and custom millwork! Oh my!
• Mor Furniture - Mor prides itself on its low prices and customer-friendly financing options to help make furniture more affordable.
• Retrofit Home - Super tight looking furniture ideal for urbanites with an eye for design. Truly baller stuff.

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture in Roseville, Minnesota. Probably A Terrible Shopping Experience.

Roseville, Minnesota  is a suburb outside of the "Twin Cities" and is an ideal choice to live in for those seeking a safe, vibrant city ideal for families and those that enjoy the outdoors.  It's also a great place to shop. While it's a small city of less than 35,000 people, it is an area with a strong retail presence, due to neighboring populations exceeding 600,000 people, between St. Paul and Minneapolis alone.  In fact, the very first Target and Best Buy were built there, and not too far off is the famed, Mall of America...the nation's most consumer-friendly shopping epicenter. Indeed, this is an area rich in opportunities for people to shop for solutions to meet their needs, as well as a resource of employment.

And of course, leave it to terrible Dania Furniture to take advantage of this situation and insert itself into an area, where consumers are likely to shop and trust that their hard earned dollars will be well spent.  We here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC refuse to allow this to happen.  Dania's taking advantage of the sweet, trusting nature of Midwesterners, and we will no longer be tolerate this exploitation of honest Americans trying to get by. Dania's mere presence in the area threatens every business in the area, because if consumers continue to shop their, they will likely stop shopping in the area as a consequence of their misinformed decision they will likely regret with much bitterness.

How dare Dania saunter into an area and figuratively urinate all over this sacred land by opening up one of its terrible locations there?!  This is the hometown of  Richard Dean Anderson, for the love of God!

Okay, moving forward...you're likely to not even want to drive by the store itself, so if you want to avoid it at all cost, below's the address.  It's not an uncommon response for those to immediately feel nothing but physical pain and emotional emptiness after seeing a Dania storefront.  Make sure you check out your alternatives to Dania, right underneath their terrible address!

Dania Furniture
2875 N Snelling Ave
Roseville, MN 55113
(651) 636-7333

Furniture stores in Roseville, MN that aren't Dania:
We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.  However, we are confident that shopping elsewhere is likely to yield exponential happiness and fulfillment.

• Becker Furniture World - Check out this spot for their never ending barrage of sales and specials - sometimes offering long-term 0% interest offers and free delivery.
• Crate & Barrel - This chain is everywhere and you probably didn't need us to link you to it, but we did anyway.
• Hom Furniture - Giant furniture store with loads of sales and clearances. Shop here and save some bucks
• Macy's - Man oh man...we cannot say how much we love shopping there. 
• Schneidernman's - Offering furniture solutions for all ages and scenarios, from indoor/outdoor furnishings, home office and beyond.
• Slumberland Furniture - Beautifully designed home furnishings that Dania wishes it could produce. Also, unlike Dania, you can purchase things off their website...how novel!

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

BTW, much thanks and love to anti-SOPA heroes, Wikipedia for a lot of the information used on this page and throughout this website.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture Hated On - 2011 Recap and Look Ahead to 2012

2011 was an amazing year for us.  From the inception of the anti-Dania Furniture movement due to a shopping experience gone terribly awry, we have made much progress in influencing furniture consumers.  Here's a little recap of what we've done in the past year:

• 4000+ visitors from 40 US states and over 30 countries
• Nearly 25% of all traffic are from repeat visitors
• Average visitor time: 3+ minutes
• 13,000+ page views
• Page 1 on Google for "dania furniture" searches on at least three continents; most notably in countries, like the US, China, Belgium, France, and The Netherlands.
• The very founder of this blog has personally met three individuals (through mutual friends) that discovered this website through Google searches and found it to be informative, moving, and spell-binding.  These people searched for our site, in order to do research on the furniture company to decide whether or not to shop there - completely without knowing who we are or that we even existed in the first place. One of these visitors, a globally-renowned and respected IT guru, "I followed your entire story from start to finish...I would never shop at a place that could arouse this much angst." Yes, that's right, we are influencing furniture consumers. 
• Met a former Dania Furniture employee that said working there "fucking sucked!" Wow...what a shocker!
• Transformed from Rogue Blogger to Legitimate Company.  Hence, the inconsistent usages of "I" and the royal "we."  

While there are many causes to get behind (environmental, Arabian springing, fighting against corporate greed, supporting human rights, helping the indigent, etc.), we still maintain that fighting Dania Furniture is the top initiative the world must tackle before anything else can be resolved.

We fell off of page 1 of Google search results for "dania furniture" for about one month.  It was a frightening time for us here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC, but the problem was fixed with an easy solution.  Now, we are back on page 1, and now more motivated than ever to stay there. Phew!

Unlike Icarus' wings being melted by the sun or Adonis getting lost in his reflection, we will keep the mission at hand, with our ambitions held tightly in check. This page 1 mishap only proved that we need to be more vigilant, tactful, and strategic. In order to continue with our mission, we are continuing to evolve our one-of-a-kind spite marketing campaign against terrible Dania Furniture.  These efforts will indeed turn heads this year, and crescendo into an amazing Page 1 Party.

Here are a couple of new additions to the blog:

• FAQ Page - common questions by our avid followers - answered.
• OCCUPY Dania Furniture - We are dedicated to provide our audience with sound consumer options.  Going forward, we will begin publishing information about furniture alternatives to every city/metropolitan area Dania Furniture disserves. The preceding post was the first installment of a series of posts about better furniture shopping alternatives.

By the way, anyone notice our recent appearance on ESPN.com's terrific MLB page?

2012 is going to be a huge year for us.  We've got bags and bags of tricks...just you wait...

Avoid Dania Furniture in Reno, Nevada. Seriously, Don't Shop There.

Source: Wikipedia. GO DONATE MONEY TO THEM!

Dania Furniture has scourged the city of Reno, Nevada, with its presence of yet another faux high-end, disgraceful, furniture store.  Reno is a city mired in a rich history that played a crucial role in the Gold Rush (not just gold, but silver, as well), was an extension of the railroads that led travelers to the westward, and of course, gambling. It's a land defined by its polar opposites - dessert and wetlands cohabitating in the same man-made geography.  It's a terrific city that has to find ways to cope with a Dania in its jurisdiction.

People, we must band together and collectively refuse to shop there. How can we as a nation sleep at night when Dania has invaded a city that embodies the more peculiar, off-beat side of what it is to be an American?! We simply can't shop there, and let this ridiculousness continue.  Ever.

Okay, moving forward...you're likely to not even want to see the store itself, so in order to avoid it at all cost, below's the address.  After all, it's not an uncommon response for those to immediately vomit after seeing the Dania storefront.  Make sure you check out your alternatives to Dania, right underneath their terrible address!

Dania Furniture
2580 Kietzke Lane
Reno, NV 89502
(775) 828-4050

Furniture stores in Reno, Nevada that aren't Dania:
Below are furniture stores in Reno, Nevada that are likely to provide you with a better experience than shopping at Dania.  We cannot guarantee or even speak to the quality of service and product, but we implore you to at least stop by their stores and inquire about their products, warranties, and delivery to make a truly informed decision.

• American Furniture & Mattress Co. - While this store is located in Sparks, Nevada, a neighboring city to Reno, it does service it.  Here, you'll find a large selection of furniture and home accents from a wide range of furniture manufacturers. 
• Ashley Furniture - A large national chain with furniture solutions for any need.
• Forever Yours Fine Furniture - A locally owned and operated furniture store.  We here at the DSM always love to support SMBs and buying local!
  Furniture Depot - Buy direct and save! This is a giant warehouse open to the public, offering factory-direct prices to anyone who walks in.
• Macy's - always the preferred furniture shopping experience...plus they sell anything and everything you could possibly want.
• Mor Furniture- Mor prides itself on its low prices and customer-friendly financing options to help make furniture more affordable.  
• RC Willey - More than just furniture, they provide a wide array of home products ranging from appliances, to electronics, to  flooring.  
• Reno Furniture - Two locations in Reno, offering internet specials and financing opportunities for those in the market for specialty, rustic furniture items.

Remember, folks, we cannot vouch for the quality of the furniture, or the customer experience, but we're confident that these are much better alternatives.  If you know of a furniture store we should include in our listings, please feel free to contact us at daniascrewedme@gmail.com, and we'll be sure to include your information.

Back to the OCCUPY Dania Page for more information on furniture alternatives in other areas.

Dania Furniture Fails on Facebook...Again...and Again...

In March of this year, we started posting on the Dania Furniture Facebook page, expressing our frustrations with their terrible customer service on the "discussions" section of the page. Our comments were immediately removed and we were no longer allowed access to post on their page. What's most ridiculous of all, is the fact that they eventually took away all users' privileges to post on their "discussions" page because the majority of them are negative reviews of their shopping experience at Dania.  Check out the original post on this. So much for social media marketing!

What's most hilarious is that they've failed to strip away a post we made on their "friend activity" page, posted almost nine months ago!  Our post was originally in response to a last minute announcement on their page, advertising a promotion, where they were unlikely to deliver the furniture purchased on that day, we presume.

Currently, only wall posts can be made, and at times Dania Furniture likers (misguided souls) are able to communicate with whichever idiot is running their page.  However, the most recent wall post finds a disappointed Dania Furniture shopper, Carly BirdVogel-McDonald, expressing lamentation and regret for a purchase made two years ago.

It's unfathomable that they've allowed this post to go unanswered for one day.  Any company with even the dullest business sense would immediately spread the customer service love and respond to this person to let them know how valued they are.  Plus, it would communicate to potential/current shoppers out there that there are solutions to their consumer-related problems. Clearly the responsibility weighs on Dania Furniture's terribly weak shoulders, and they simply can't own up to it.

God only knows how much money Carly spent on those six chairs, and for only two-thirds of her purchase having legs to stand on...well, it's more than a cryin' shame...this is an abomination against furniture purchasingkind.  We here at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC feel the pain of Carly pain all too well. Carly, if you're out there, please don't hesitate to reach out to us for support. You are not alone.

Daniel Epeneter, #1 Dania Furniture Hater in the World

The world bid Daniel Epeneter, the World's Greatest Dania Furniture Hater, a reluctant adieu on November 1, 2011.  To the anti-Dania movement, he was known as the Whistleblower, and his contributions and influence bleed across this very blog in our words, pictures an ideas. Outside of his deep, seething hatred of Dania Furniture, he was revered, remembered and loved by his friends and family for being unmatched in wit, intelligence, and humanity. He was the smartest guy everyone knew, had a keen sense of humor, an ear for compassion, and dimples that could light up the night.  Needless to say, he will be missed for a variety of reasons.

Daniel was an early adopter of Dania Furniture hatred, and embraced it wholeheartedly from the start. He had a keen sense for social justice, and he saw this movement as an opportunity for him to help set some wrong things right in the world.  DSM Founder remarked, "Daniel's intense hatred of Dania Furniture was not only inspiring but truly laudable.  I don't think he even walked into a Dania Furniture store once, but he certainly was determined to hate them with all of his heart. I don't know what we'll do without him, but certainly 2012 will be an homage to Daniel as we try to move forward without him.  We will continue to express intense anti-Dania sentiment in the coming year - and hell, beyond - all in his name."

His ambitions were sky high for spreading his hatred, even becoming evangelical about the DSM movement and was ready to reach out to those that need to see the proverbial light.  Prior to his untimely passing, he sent a high Dania hatred intensity email spewing forth his fury about Dania Furniture.  He had it up to the cliched here with it, and wanted to share his message with the world.  Below are a few excerpts.

We need to do some more strategy thinking regarding how we are going to penetrate the non-believers. There are people out there getting screwed by Dania Furniture with know idea that there is help out there. 


Daniel takes the intensity to 11, as he dissects the strife of the shopping experience at Dania.  He viewed our online social media blitz with Dania Furniture as much more than words on the internet...this was a full-blown jihad.  Indeed, this was a very black and white issue to Daniel; his heart had become hardened by the the mere thought of Dania. He drew upon real life examples of how Dania's casualties of war affect real human lives, and is outraged at the aftermath. His compassion for "wounded" veterans in the war on Dania Furniture only displays his empathetic side to making sure all troops are taken care of from the start of the war to the end.  Daniel was indeed a big-picture, high-level thinker; he thought of everything.

...You return from the War with Dania Furniture after they screwed you and its difficult to reintegrate with society.


How on Earth could you expect someone to come back from Dania Furniture or to put the phone down after talking to one of their customer service representatives and not has some level of post traumatic stress disorder. In fact, I know three Officers in the US Reserve separate individuals that actually returned home from a 4 hour deployment in Dania that actually had lost limbs.

I hope the folks at Dania who are in charge of fine tuning the mathematics behind getting furniture through doors are not the ones in charge of fine-tuning the measurements of the prosthetics these brave souls are going to need as they learn to live the "new life" that has been thrust upon them so needlessly.

It is unclear whether he likened the terrible shopping experience of purchasing a product from a Dania store to losing a limb, or if he literally means shopping at Dania can result limb loss.  We wouldn't be surprised if it were the latter. Nevertheless, his punishing tirade is what what worthy, for they deserve to be called out for their lack of craftsmanship, knowledge of simple geometry, and terrible customer service.

Daniel concludes his message with an unexpectedly, reflective, emotional crescendo, where the true range of human emotion is on display.  Rather than shun Dania Furniture shoppers and cast shame upon them, Daniel ends with a classy, empathetic olive branch to them.  He paints a beautiful picture of a beautiful world free of Dania's reign, in a Louis Armstrong sort of way.  In many ways, this "stanza" is reminiscent of Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have A Dream" speech.


Dania Furniture shoppers....we here at Dania Screwed Me salute you, in fact we honor your attempt to procure furniture from a store designed to not disseminate that very furniture...I'm getting choked up here.....what I'm trying to say is keep your chin up....this "company" won't be able to continue such a regime forever. Further, when their time is up you will all be able to so you had a part in taking down such hostility, fascism and suppresion.


With Tremendous Gratitude,
Dania ScrewedMe



What a tremendously appropriate usage of the royal we.  Dania's shenanigans are soon to expire and your dream will be realized. Your contributions to the Anti-Dania Furniture movement and to the lives of those around you will never be forgotten, nor will they be made in vain. We will do you right, bro, we swear.

Page 1 Party: Dania Furniture Haters Unite

The Page 1 Party was a smashing success, as evidenced by the hundreds of spite party critics across the nation are hailing it as the "you wish you coulda' hated there" event of the year.  We rocked it hard at the Orient Express for a solid 5+ hours, and hosted over 70 Dania Furniture haters throughout the entire evening. In a move of solidarity, everyone in attendance wore "Dania ScrewedMe" name tags to embody the firm belief that anyone can get screwed by Dania.

We convened for hours about our deep-seeded hatred of Dania; there was a lot of discussion regarding the follies of their products and their self-celebrated culture of terrible customer service.  As one walked throughout the event, one could hear Dania haters openly expressing their fervent disdain for their idiotic chairs,  utterly dumb couches, not to mention their lack of necessary business intangibles like customer service or intelligence at the C-level.  While this aroused intense hatred throughout the entire venue, it also brought about a calming sense of happiness and camaraderie as evidenced by the below Dania furniture haters.

The most popular drink of the evening was the Dania-Screwed-Me-Driver.  Thanks to super Dania hater, Big Nick for piecing together the ingredients, and much thanks to the Orient Express for not skimping on the vodka.  They were indeed delicious and full of merriment.

Big Nick's contributions didn't end there, he toasted to the Dania ScrewedMe movement in a cryptic, nearly four minute toast to the love of hating Dania Furniture.  While he took cheap, tangential shots at Scandinavians, by slandering them as "idiots," the point he was reaching for was about how Dania Furniture's a terrible place to shop.  This was evidenced in his guilty confession of owning what he meant to describe as a terrible, cursed, Dania couch and ridiculously stupid ottoman that he will be hurling off a cliff. And just for the record, the Dania ScrewedMe LLC does not condone, nor support anti-Scandinavian sentiment, despite the black eye that Dania has given their supposed people.

The evening's agenda of hating Dania became so stressful that some Dania hate-filled heroes had to step outside for a smoke break to take the edge off.  It is in this regard that one could establish an almost a causal relationship of Dania Furniture to smoking cigarettes.  Let's face it, Dania Furniture's mere existence practically forces people to smoke, because they're so terrible.  We are calling for the surgeon general to conduct a study to link Dania Furniture's influence on smoking, and expose them for who they are: a terrible furniture company on a mission to poison America through horrible customer service and unsubstantiable linkages to inadvertently promoting cigarette smoking more explicitly than  your average Pro-Herman Cain advertisement.

It should also be noted that party attendees cheered at the Dania ScrewedMe LLC's First Annual Furniture Awards Ceremony.  This year we only had one category, World's Worst Furniture Company of 2011, which was surprisingly awarded to Dania.  People were so excited, they wanted to pose with the trophy; please note uber Dania hater, Kerryn, who managed to work her hate into four photos.

Although the DSM sponsored tab had expired by 1AM, faithful Dania haters stuck around for a latenight group photo in the early hours of the morning, before storming the karaoke room.  The message we want to send to America and beyond is clear: We hate Dania Furniture.

The night's success of uniting fellow Dania haters in a fun-and-spite-filled, organized fashion has only solidified our belief that this anti-Dania mission should continue in perpetuity.  Some people have congratulated us on a job well done, as if to imply that merely appearing on page 1 was the end goal.  Rest assured, this is not the case.  Our roadmap for the end of this year and through 2012 clearly articulates our desire to OCCUPY DANIA.  In the coming weeks we will make formal announcements of how we will continue to expand our reach on Google to ensure we reach everyone possible who even considers shopping at Dania, to take their business elsewhere.  We will also clown Dania hard on some of their failures in online advertising.  Clearly there is no stopping us.

"Why?" you may ask.  Well, it's for moments like this that keep us going. Pictured above, holding the trophy is a former Dania Furniture employee, who just happened to be with a group of individuals that were singing in a private karaoke room.  When asked about his experiences working there and his impressions, he was generous enough to share an articulate recount of why working for them was a nightmare.  His personal, traumatic story of working under a tyranny was heart-breaking and downright chilling.  He has moved onto greener pastures, but described working under Dania with unflattering expletives and was excited and encouraging for our anti-Dania cause.  This certainly is not a coincidence that an internal Dania hater was present at the Page 1 Party.  Forgive us for pointing out the obvious, but clearly this was God's doing - bringing the Dania ScrewedMe LLC and him together in a venue to share each other's hatred for Dania.  God works in mysterious ways...

Indeed, it's moments like this that remind us that our hatred of Dania Furniture should encourage furniture consumers to shop elsewhere and give a positive outlet for those that have worked in such terrible conditions, as to be employed by Dania.

God's shining down on us.  We just know it.